May 14th 2015

May 14^th 2015: Before I start bitching about today let me mention Saturday (I will explain why there’s no entry in a second). So all last week was the Film Festival. The only day of which I volunteered for was Saturday. They posted me in the lower section of the Auditorium. Two movies I got a chance to sit down and watch; Uncle Kent 2 and Showgirls.

Uncle Kent 2 was a little independent movie written by Kent Osbourne. It wasn’t one of those that were hard to follow, but that guy Plumber (Plummer?) from last Thursday did not “get it”. The way he described it to me made it seem more complicated than the movie really was. Nothing’s hard to follow if you pay attention. Now Momento… THAT movie could be considered hard to follow.

The second movie, Showgirls, was just… Fuck I don’t know any other way to describe it other than “shit”. I guess it was sexy by 1990s standards but naked Elisabeth Berkley does not a boner make. Essentially the Art Museum  paid me, to not only sit down for four-ish hours, but also paid me to watch a soft-core porn movie. This is shit that you cannot write, it just happens and you have to document it!

Speaking of which let’s move on to today. When I got a copy of the schedule Saturday (yeah Mr. Ass actually made one this week) I noticed I was scheduled to work Wednesday AND Thursday from 9:15AM-5:15PM each. What the hell? The riots are over now. I call Sunday hoping to talk to talk to him, instead (redacted) connects me to Mismanagement, after I made the mistake of asking if she handles the schedules. Firstly, I should know better than to put things in the form of a question. Secondly, I used a poor choice of words with (redacted) who does not know anything really. Thirdly, she doesn’t actually handle the schedules (some people confuse “schedule” with “post assignments”) and barely does any work period. She tells me to come in Wednesday and “we’ll figure it out”. In that “I’m busy doing nothing so come in THEN for the hell of it and I’ll pretend to figure it out” tone of hers. No thanks! I halfheartedly (which is more emotional effort than she made) reply “ok sure”. Note that I said “hardheartedly”.

So I call Monday, Mr. Ass is SURE to be there on a Monday. Nope he wasn’t there.

So I call Tuesday and guess who I finally get a hold of? Yep! I mention the fucked up schedule and tell him I will work Thursday 1-9PM.

And there I was, posted up on R+G+G with (redacted), replacing Sticks who was covering the entire 3^rd Floor (Center and Charles). (Redacted) then tells me to call the Monitor Room informing me that my hour break (which is usually at 4PM) will be at 5PM, I call back a couple minutes later. It takes me a couple minutes to recover, and think, after the Pokemon like blast of confusion I receive. I ask her “If my hour break is at 5PM then when is my half hour break?” “7:30PM” she replies. I’m thinking “well fuck I may as well go home by that point” but I say “how about I go at 3PM instead?” She agrees to that but I didn’t know what time my 30-minute was. (Redacted) gives me 6:15PM.

Now here I am on the Court replacing (redacted), who I can only assume is replacing Reggie on the 4^th Floor (he goes home at 5PM on Thursday). The only person in the Monitor Room is Predator. I go in to ask him if I am self-relief or if I am being relieved at 6:15PM. Seeing that he’s already juggling half the museum (which is six times his usual amount of effort). I give him five minutes to figure out an answer. Five minutes later he calls me to the Monitor Room and says “6:15PM”. I fucking knew that already! You, dear reader, knew that already of course. I reply with my original enquiry “…but am I self relief or being relieved?” So either (redacted) will relieve me or I am self relief. Actually it looks like I am self-relief. (redacted) just said “Bye.” Her grand baby is probably in C.C.U. again. 

Cool I will be able to do 10-100s for the rest of the night. My first was (redacted) up on 4^th Floor. You know that boy is NOT right in the head! He tried tossing the keys to me. They almost went down the god damn elevator shaft! The guy is fucking goofy.