May 14th 2015

May 14^th 2015: Before I start bitching about today let me mention Saturday (I will explain why there’s no entry in a second). So all last week was the Film Festival. The only day of which I volunteered for was Saturday. They posted me in the lower section of the Auditorium. Two movies I got a chance to sit down and watch; Uncle Kent 2 and Showgirls.

Uncle Kent 2 was a little independent movie written by Kent Osbourne. It wasn’t one of those that were hard to follow, but that guy Plumber (Plummer?) from last Thursday did not “get it”. The way he described it to me made it seem more complicated than the movie really was. Nothing’s hard to follow if you pay attention. Now Momento… THAT movie could be considered hard to follow.

The second movie, Showgirls, was just… Fuck I don’t know any other way to describe it other than “shit”. I guess it was sexy by 1990s standards but naked Elisabeth Berkley does not a boner make. Essentially the Art Museum  paid me, to not only sit down for four-ish hours, but also paid me to watch a soft-core porn movie. This is shit that you cannot write, it just happens and you have to document it!

Speaking of which let’s move on to today. When I got a copy of the schedule Saturday (yeah Mr. Ass actually made one this week) I noticed I was scheduled to work Wednesday AND Thursday from 9:15AM-5:15PM each. What the hell? The riots are over now. I call Sunday hoping to talk to talk to him, instead (redacted) connects me to Mismanagement, after I made the mistake of asking if she handles the schedules. Firstly, I should know better than to put things in the form of a question. Secondly, I used a poor choice of words with (redacted) who does not know anything really. Thirdly, she doesn’t actually handle the schedules (some people confuse “schedule” with “post assignments”) and barely does any work period. She tells me to come in Wednesday and “we’ll figure it out”. In that “I’m busy doing nothing so come in THEN for the hell of it and I’ll pretend to figure it out” tone of hers. No thanks! I halfheartedly (which is more emotional effort than she made) reply “ok sure”. Note that I said “hardheartedly”.

So I call Monday, Mr. Ass is SURE to be there on a Monday. Nope he wasn’t there.

So I call Tuesday and guess who I finally get a hold of? Yep! I mention the fucked up schedule and tell him I will work Thursday 1-9PM.

And there I was, posted up on R+G+G with (redacted), replacing Sticks who was covering the entire 3^rd Floor (Center and Charles). (Redacted) then tells me to call the Monitor Room informing me that my hour break (which is usually at 4PM) will be at 5PM, I call back a couple minutes later. It takes me a couple minutes to recover, and think, after the Pokemon like blast of confusion I receive. I ask her “If my hour break is at 5PM then when is my half hour break?” “7:30PM” she replies. I’m thinking “well fuck I may as well go home by that point” but I say “how about I go at 3PM instead?” She agrees to that but I didn’t know what time my 30-minute was. (Redacted) gives me 6:15PM.

Now here I am on the Court replacing (redacted), who I can only assume is replacing Reggie on the 4^th Floor (he goes home at 5PM on Thursday). The only person in the Monitor Room is Predator. I go in to ask him if I am self-relief or if I am being relieved at 6:15PM. Seeing that he’s already juggling half the museum (which is six times his usual amount of effort). I give him five minutes to figure out an answer. Five minutes later he calls me to the Monitor Room and says “6:15PM”. I fucking knew that already! You, dear reader, knew that already of course. I reply with my original enquiry “…but am I self relief or being relieved?” So either (redacted) will relieve me or I am self relief. Actually it looks like I am self-relief. (redacted) just said “Bye.” Her grand baby is probably in C.C.U. again. 

Cool I will be able to do 10-100s for the rest of the night. My first was (redacted) up on 4^th Floor. You know that boy is NOT right in the head! He tried tossing the keys to me. They almost went down the god damn elevator shaft! The guy is fucking goofy. 

May 7th 2015

May 7^th 2015: Working a Thursday in R+G+G. After one of those unscheduled scavenger hunt invasions everything has become quiet. I suspect it will be like this the rest of the night. At least until the Film Festival people come in. That is suppose to go on until midnight. I’m leaving at 9:15PM. Fuck anything else. Predator better not even consider asking me to stay.

Mismanagement hired a new guard today. (Redacted); an actual pretty white girl. I know what she’s trying to do. I smell entrapment. Mismanagement thinks I am into artsy girls with short hair because of the Kelly thing. Man is she a fucking dope for trying. (Redacted) IS attractive in a Popeye's Olive Oil kind of way but she seems like she’s in her own world. I checked out her Facebook and she looks even more artistic than Kelly! No thanks. 

I do not think I would want to get involved with her. She probably already has a boyfriend. I kind of like being single, less drama and more me time. It was cute when (redacted) came to introduce her, he was all flustered. Like usual he was trying to inform me of information I already knew ((redacted) coming to relieve me at 11) except he was mumbling quietly. I had to ask him to speak up.

Later that night some people from Private Security Company were called in to help cover the Film Festival event. Apparently the Film Festival committee and a local Indie Theater are having a beef. So the Art Museum is one of the new movie venues this year. The one guy, Plumber (Plummer?), I chatted with through the last half of the night. Made the time go by hella fast. We mainly talked about this free-roam zombie survival game idea he had. It sounded pretty ambitious (not a bad thing in the video game industry). I tried to explain how the game could be done realistically using today’s technology.

I know what it’s like to have an ambitious video game idea, but you also have to be realistic about how they can be created. Besides there’s always DLC if you can’t do everything right away. Planning ahead is a good strategy for video game creation. 

R.E.S.P.E.C.T.

Respect is a major part of the work place, but another unfortunate aspect of where I work is the infection of artificial respect. Where I work no one wants to be in charge, but SOMEONE has to be in charge and take the lumps of having to deal directly with all of the verbal and mental abuse that comes from other departments. The Security department at the Art Museum is not the most respected and for good reason.

Those in charge of it have never had an ounce of power in their lives; the legal ability to harass people for normal every day things. Knucklehead, Mismanagement, and Predator are all (or was in Predator’s case) wannabe cops. Remember that I covered the subject of wannabe cops before? It’s much worse with them.

With other people in the department like the new Lead Officers and Supervisors; Chop and Aretha Franklin. They have never been in charge of anything. Apart from maybe their kids, but never a crew of Security officers, and it shows with people like that. They took the job for the pay, and I don’t blame them, but there’s commanding respect and then there’s demanding it.

Look at get that you never had a decent job in your life, I understand that you have kids to feed and want a few more dollars on your paycheck, but a Stephanie Rawlins Blake haircut and a new job title isn’t going to make people instantly respect you. If you are the type of person that believes this then you have self esteem issues, or worse, you are secretly mad with power.

Sort of like the police, they’re not all bad and they can have their issues worked out, but that is for a psychiatrist and not your employees. Check yourself before you come to work. There might not be any rough rides at an Art Museum, but lawyers are just as much a factor if the wrong actions take place. 

April 30th 2015

April 30^th 2015: Lately we have been having these riots downtown because of the death of Freddie Gray. The rioters took out the windows of some of the nearby restaurants. Imagine my disappointment when I saw all of the windows of the museum still in-tact. What a shame that these ignorant bastards would just trash places in order to steal. They are showing the country, and the world, that they are belligerent assholes. No one really gives a damn about that guy. Even his own family realize he's worth more dead than he is alive. 

Yesterday I came to work on “The Project.” As I am up in the 4^th Floor (redacted) calls me, to inform me, we will be closing at 5PM tomorrow [today]. It’s Thursday so you can imagine how happy I was to hear THAT.

I worked that wedding Saturday so I was scheduled to come in from 1:15PM to 9:15PM. I just told (redacted) that I will come in from 9:15AM to 5:15PM instead. It is a good thing she saw me on camera because she never would have called and told me that. How do I know? Because the Part Timers that usually come in at 1:15PM are still coming in at 1:15PM…

Still this is awesome! I will actually be able to have dinner at home on a Thursday night! There has not been anybody coming through the gallery. I am posted up on the 3^rd Floor and the most people I have had today was a group from MICA. It’s ok though I am still getting other stuff done in the meantime. Day’s almost half done. 

April 25th 2015

April 25^th 2015: Working another wedding tonight. Good crowd, but I can not say the same for the rioters downtown. Some people say it’s going to move up this way but others are saying it’s going to stay down by the Harbor. I don’t know what they would want with this place. The New Entrance is nothing but glass so… no point in fortifying the building . Knucklehead would have a hard-on about this shit. With Predator in charge it’s more likely he’s crying or jerking off to news footage. If it was a daylight riot he would be running around all official wearing his trench helmet and safety vest. Trying to give us the impression that he knows what the hell he’s doing. Predator is scared. I asked him what we should do if the riot comes here. He had his deer-in-the-headlights look. They are fucked. I say “they” because I am not sticking around if the shit hits the fan. I do not owe this corrupt museum anything. Most importantly no one in their right mind should die for material objects.

Speaking of which my project is coming along nicely, still have not left the 4^th floor though! I’m thinking I should post the 1^st Floor Special Exhibition first before I do anything else. That one will be gone before 4^th Floor… Nah! Anyway the first eight hours went by fast. Tonight I’m posted on the Passenger Elevator. So like last week I’m sitting in a [smaller] box writing and playing video games. Predator is going against the new order and is not giving anyone a second 30 minute break. He even challenged (redacted) by saying he will give her a copy of where it says he does not have to in the book. I think I’ll take that copy! I already know he won’t give to me! He knows how my lawyer can use it

These people are idiots. A couple walked up to Level 2 in order to catch the elevator downstairs. Dude there’s a door right there near the Court. Man I hate stupid people. I work for the type so I got reason. My PS Vita battery just ran out. It really sucks when you are in the middle of a gun battle when that happens. It’s like a cliffhanger. One more hour to go. Hopefully less. That riot turned out to be nothing, I bet Knucklehead’s disappointed. Ha!

April 23rd 2015

April 23^rd 2015: This is different. Mr. Ass put me down for 11:15 to 9:15 because I worked 15 hours for that wedding Saturday. As I have said in the past he is VERY serious about that 25 hour limit. We are still short and he is calling for volunteers for something going on Tuesday. 12 volunteers for Tuesday. I am not working it because I can't work it. After this Saturday’s wedding, and Thursday, I will be booked hours wise. He will try to guilt trip me into it. It won't work but he will try.

I come in here at 11:15 and (redacted) is already in a bad mood saying “you’re late”, I told her to look at the schedule. Mismanagement put me down to do reliefs. (Redacted), my first relief was cool with it. I do not have anyone to get at 1PM so it’s no big deal. Still make sure to add this to the list of retarded shit Mismanagement has done. After my 30-minute lunch break I only had to relieve (redacted) for her 20-minute break. (Redacted), the new guy, was MIA so I skipped him entirely. Mismanagement was leading, or I suppose I should say Misleading him, during his orientation. After my hour break I took over for R.J. up on 3^rd Floor. I’ll be here for the rest of the night. Which is quite alright as long as the 3G holds up.

Uncle Tom finally got around to putting new vending machines in the break room. Now we can use our credit cards meaning the machines have joined the 21^st-fucking-century. The drink machine even has Monster energy drinks in them. It’s not completely perfect though, the snack machine has some new options, like tuna fish snacks… That’s a lawsuit waiting to happen…

Speaking of lawsuits it’s nice to see the fucker actually do something useful other than be involved in bullshit secret meetings.