August 28th 2015

I am posted in 2^nd Floor today. Just got back from a four day vacation. Would rather work an eight-hour Friday than a 12-hour Thursday any time. The only problem is the people that run public transportation eat stupid pills on Friday. Well… more than usual. Even the train is a crap shoot. I have already decided that I am calling Uber at the end of the day.

Here in the 2^nd Floor they have a new infoboard set up to make people aware of the armed conflicts going on in the Middle East. They mention how devastating this is to the ancient pieces THEN as a foot note they mention the loss of human life. You can see how artsy fartsy fucks set their priorities. “It’s such a shame that these great pieces are being destroyed… oh yes and the loss of life is terrible too” is basically what they’re saying.

During my 20-minute break I was in the locker room, playing Metal Gear Solid Peace Walker and charging my iPod, when I overheard (redacted) talking to J.C. and Knucklehead's Mole about how they are still ganging up on him. He never takes me seriously so it’s not like we actually talk about this stuff. He always invites me over, but I don’t know if I can trust him. I have nothing against him. I honestly think he’s a good guy but he’s not right for this museum. The people here eat that up alive. Like I said before he’s kind of unreliable. He can’t ever get weed, he’s always late; coming back from breaks and sometimes getting to work. If I was in charge I really would not hire him.

I guess what I am saying is that he annoys me and I think he gets that. I will admit I do not really put myself out there when it comes to hanging out with people from work, that goes double for these people because I do not know whose in bed with who. I do have a few of them as friends on Facebook, and there I say and post whatever the hell I want. First Amendment bitches! You try to tell me otherwise and I’ll look forward to counting your money.

I would gladly help (redacted) out more if he did not insist on giggling after every piece of advice I gave him. THAT is what annoys me about him; his laugh-at-everything defense. Plus his problem is that he talks to everybody, that’s great anywhere else but it’s a bad idea here. Knucklehead doesn’t know the difference between personal life and professional. Also at the end of the day I got on the Passenger Elevator way ahead of Predator (who had the equipment basket). I got off and then hit all of the buttons knowing this was the only convenient elevator that leads to the Monitor Room. That is how you asshole. 

August 20th 2015

I am posted in Special Exhibition again. This morning was staff coffee but someone went to buy a couple gallons from a local coffee shop. Maintenance is suppose to put out coffee. It’s the only thing worth it, because the food is never good. In fact someone put Doritos out, this is all hangover food haha. If there’s no coffee then it’s not “staff coffee”.

Later (redacted) was here to do reliefs and she never called me out when she relieved me. She never really calls anyone out whenever she rarely does reliefs. Never talks to me either but it’s a fact that if you’re not black she doesn’t even look at you when you find yourself unfortunate enough to need to speak to her. I know the type, and militants aren’t worth the trouble of talking to. 

August 15th 2015

Today we had a long meeting about the policy of women breast feeding their babies in the galleries. (redacted) brought it up. Mismanagement mentioned that we can’t legally say anything to them, but can say something if other guests are offended. (Redacted) replied “well I was offended”. I’ve told him time-and-time again that no one cares, or does anything, unless a guest has a problem.

Also Father Time (or Mismanagement) hasn’t printed out Inventory sheets for the art books despite always having a meeting about it. I swear it’s like a bad situational comedy. I ask him for Inventory sheets, that we keep having meetings about, and he brings me Floor Inspection sheets that the Maintenance closet is already tripping in.

He said he would go downstairs and print up a batch. Some time later, after I got back from my lunch, I asked if he brought them up. He shook his head and said that he completely forgot about it. This is why you’re just wasting your breath if you ask for anything around here.

Also for a week now, and I forgot to mention this earlier, the Relief Officers must relieve everyone on the dot now. Gone are the days where we get relieved nine-minutes-of, at least for now. Don’t worry they still get their 30-minute lunch breaks. I guess this is to combat against their 30 minutes of hanging around at the end of the day. They’ll forget about this new stupid rule after a while.

Father Time not printing out Inventory sheets is kind of a bummer but not really a big deal. I’ve always made a game out of the sheets to help pass the time, but after a year I’ve already set up a game of my own. Plus I’m working on “The Project” while I’m posted on the 3^rd Floor. Write a page in this notepad, do a round, stop to play The Simpsons: Tapped Out, write down one of the art pieces, then rinse and repeat. Also every hour I exercise with the fire extinguisher by the back stairwell.

I know what you’re thinking and yes this place gives you a lot of time on your hands. Rest assured I’m not in charge of anything vital, unless you’re one of those artsy fartsy fucks, in which case your face is red with anger. Be mad bro… Be mad.

Back on the subject of relief times being tighter than a cat’s ass; Father Time has done evening reliefs for the last few Thursdays. He’s not actually suppose to be here past 5:00PM. Actually he shouldn’t be here past three years ago, but that’s beside the point. You’re suppose to start evening reliefs at 5:15, he starts his at 4:55! And he’s Father Time so no one’s going to tell him otherwise. Sticks got to leave early, he was posted at the staff building all day. I hear it’s a nice gig provided you know how to work a switchboard.

Also this is the second Thursday that Mr. Ass has had to cover for Predator on the evening shift. Though unfortunately Predator still works here according to Buckwheat. He’ll run out of whatever meds he’s taking and become an asshole again I guarantee it. 

We Are Number 10?

I was just recently informed that the art museum where I work is ranked number 10 in a contest for best free museum in the United States. Number 10… And the e-mail was written by a staff member with ties to spinning bull shit. (Allegedly written by them, it was filled with typos, and the supposed person’s name was misspelled, most likely Mismanagement’s doing). I thought for sure we would be number 45.

Next let's consider where this museum is located, one of the most corrupt cities in America. No I'm not talking about Chicago, I should be so lucky, no I mean of course Baltimore Maryland. Ground zero of all the anti-white hatred and Black Lives Matter militant attitudes in the country. A real family friendly destination that undoubtedly surpasses Disneyworld (yes that’s sarcasm).

By all mean let's make the museum number one. By all means walk around the building handing out copies of a possibly forged (and albeit typo riddled) e-mails to get people to vote for the corrupt institution that you have tarnished with your ties to HR. By all means give the employees a free luncheon to “show your appreciation” while actually just trying to get us to vote.

No as you can probably already tell it’s not working on me. I ended up voting for the Smithsonian. That’s a museum that disserves to be number one, because it has something worth seeing. Then again D.C.’s the most fucked up out of all the corrupt towns in America, but at least it’s not this museum.