November 17th 2014

The big day that I mentioned in yesterday's entry. First Aid training at a place where none of the trained know what they are doing. The first time I went through training I was willing to learn but this time I just wanted to go home. 

November 17, 2014: I am at CPR training for the second, and hopefully final, time at the Art Museum. Before class starts I am writing in this notepad like usual. However my plan is to skip every other line to make it seem like I am taking notes. It’s the only way to get through this. I don’t think Knucklehead cares really but I am gonna put on one hell of an acting job. I think the CPR infant dolls have the same diapers as they did two year ago. That would explain why Knucklehead’s son is such an asshole I guess. Well it appears, at the moment, that it’s going to be a three person class. (Redacted) just showed up and decided to sit over at the other table away from me and Sticks. Either she just does not like white people or it was an issue with room. I am guessing it’s the latter because I sat away from Sticks for more room too.

It’s National Novel Writing Month. There are other places I would rather be right now. Well it’s just three of us, God willing I’ll be out of here by two. I’m not changing the time in the pay book. Oh God I’m getting sleepy! This coffee is the only thing keeping me going. This is more boring than I thought. Got to keep my mind going. These shit jokes and anecdotes are like kryptonite! 

After the excruciating AED training I brought up a “what if” and asked Knucklehead why a gurney could not be carried up the Old Entrance stairs. He of course avoided the question by mentioning that firefighters (first responders) do not have a gurney on their truck. That's not the answer I was looking for. No matter who gets there first the issue was that A.J. was taken THROUGH the building. He says he’s Type-2 diabetic. If that’s true he should have known better with Joe and A.J.His attitude was more somber after that. He knew what I was getting at. 

We got out of there around 2PM, like Knucklehead said we would. I did not change my entry in the paysheet book. His boyfriend Mr. Ass probably will though, fucker…

I handled the First Aid training like I use to handle elementary school. Pay enough attention to get through the end of the day and dream about getting the hell out of there so I could breath fresh air. 

November 15th 2014

I remember this day well. I already knew my boss was incompetent, but this is pretty bad. When it comes to medical disorders everyone here either does not give a shit or runs around scared not knowing what to do. 

Apparently Knucklehead is more incompetent during medical emergencies than he likes to let on. According to (redacted) (whose opinion I consider spot on) the officer had their heart attack in the Old Building. Knucklehead insisted that the paramedics GO AROUND to the New Entrance and take him down on the Freight Elevator. Now I know the officer is a chubby person, but they are trained to carry heavier people down 18 flights of stairs. I have seen moments where fire fighters on scene do not always lend a hand. I guess it depends on the weight of the individual. 

Alas no, Knucklehead not only insisted on having him taken through the building, the long way, but also asked they use the New Entrance's handicap lift! I know this was not his first emergency, and he should know better by now. We think he was deliberately trying to kill him (because Knucklehead and Mismanagement believe he is trouble) or it could just be that Knucklehead is an idiot, I think it’s a little bit of a and b. 

The same thing happened with Joe (who is also a diabetic) when he had an attack. Joe was collapsing in the lobby while Knucklehead was chatting it up with someone at the door. Ten minutes later, having “not noticed” that Joe was laying on the floor, he woke up and took over the scene as if he had been there the whole time. That is once a guest noticed and made a call to 911. 

Today I am back up here except today I am sharing it with Captain Redacted. A nice change of pace from (redacted), Captain Redacted keeps his complaints on the inside, unless using them to make a joke, and generally keeps to himself. Some peace and quiet at last! I found out today that I am scheduled to do First Aid Training. It is a required training exercise that guards need to attend every two years in order to be CPR certified. What I do like are all of the cards they give you to put in your wallet.

I have several cards that state “This recognizes that (next line) Me (next line) has completed the requirements for…” I’ll list the following, and for the record every one of these titles has it’s own card:

Adult and Pediatric First Aid/CPR/AED

First Aid

Pediatric First Aid

Adult CPR

Child CPR

Infant CPR

AED-Adult

AED-Child

I am scheduled to go in Monday but it is an eight hour shift. It’s going to be funny for two reasons. One, I am going over my supposed 25 hour limit by three hours. I guess it’s ok to break that “law” when it’s a state recognized exercise? Second, Knucklehead will be teaching the class. After recent events it will be hard to keep a straight face while he “hahahe’s” his way through. He is also the one who “grades” the multiple choice test and hands out the erroneous amount of cards at the end. It is a real waste of time because he will not have someone under his command that is not CPR certified although none of us will use it or for that matter remember it. He Already has our names printed on the cards and his signature laser etched into the back. So much for wanting to be efficient when everyone is already pre-certified. 

For what it's worth if I had to do CPR for the amount of time this asshole thinks is necessary I would need CPR myself. Thank God for paramedics. 

Unsupervised Supervisors

As a manager of any kind of department you need to keep a cool head and command respect. If something goes wrong on your end you are to face the facts and try to prevent it from happening again in future. A responsibility some adults take for granted.

In a Security department you need others, under your command, to work out the objectives of the day and keep order of the man power. If you haven’t already guessed from reading “Hierarchy” (http://beingasecurityguard.blogspot.com/2015/01/hierarchy.html) we have more chefs in the kitchen than cooks. A set of policies in place but various people with their own ideas and agendas. This kind of behavior can, and has, been a dangerous mix.

Along with Supervisors we have Lead Officers that really do all of the work. Unless of course it’s the Evening Shift, Mismanagement’s not around, and Predator is having a bad day. In which case his megalomania gets the better of him and things really get disorganized. I’ll go into all of that at another time.

The problem, apart from having way too much time on their hands, is that they shift what little duties they have onto their subordinates. Essentially we do not need some of these positions because it only breeds confusion. When anyone screws up they just shift the blame onto whoever is below them, even the littlest of things.

When people start to question why Mismanagement is not doing anything priorities shift again. Some weeks she will be in charge of schedules, to keep her busy. Schedules are not being printed out like they were when the Day Shift Supervisor was in charge, so it’s their duty again. You would think that an art museum would be simple. Apparently it’s too simple for the Security department. 

November 13, 2014

If you do not concentrate on writing working a 12 hour shift in this place could drive you insane. Especially when you have to work with one of the old guards who is still living in the past. It's moments... no hours like this that make me wonder if they are trying to drive me insane like they did with him. 

November 13^th, 2014: So today is a Thursday and I’m posted up in the old galleries along with (redacted). In the break room (redacted) told me I would be doing reliefs. Which basically means change of pace to make the day go by faster. Working on my laptop for an hour in the break room before having to be busy, getting an hour off at 4PM to buy my dinner plus have extra time to work on my novel, and have an excuse to roam around the museum once I was done. Instead I’m stuck up here. The only two upsides to this are; I’m going on an earlier, longer, lunch break and I have a surface to write on. Unfortunately I have to work with (redacted).

He is on a bitch fit today. First he accuses me of not doing the paperwork, then he tells me I mixed the papers up. We then have a useless argument. I already know I am right in the matter, but arguing with either of the veterans is a waste of energy. It’s like a dog barking at a brick wall. He got mixed up because he does not use the book as a reference. Also there was a 15, or so, minute gap between handing him his half of the paperwork and him confronting me.

I think he took that time to come up with a bullshit complaint. I would not put it past him since he has the time on his hands and the brain speed to cook up bullshit. Judging by that shit-eating grin he had on his face, as I passed him getting off the elevator, on the way to the Security Room, I bet he went in there to complain that he needed someone to guard the bridge. I mentioned before how mundane the idea of needing a guard solely for that is. With the policies Knucklehead and Mismanagement come up with; the veterans are their loyal poster bitches for reinforcing this idiocracy. He freaks out that Bear will not do his job so he bitches to waste a guard so he will have half the work load. I have not seen him in about half an hour. He knows he’s wrong and he’s trying to avoid me. Thinks I’m pissed at him. I am a little bit, yes. I’m more pissed at him being a little turd and using what little pull he had to get me stuck here for the next 10 hours.

A.J. called for an ambulance because he was feeling shaky and his chest hurt. I have not heard how he’s doing but I wish him all of the best. (Redacted) is downstairs today, and like always the ambulance (and fire truck) showed up at the Old Entrance instead of the New Entrance. In Baltimore it’s like a fire truck has to show up on principle. Perhaps it’s a quota thing like with police cruisers. Anyway the ambulance went around to New Entrance just fine. Five minutes later (redacted) stepped into action. She’s usually on a delay. She ran up and down the Old Entrance stairs, then announced that the ambulance was on it’s way. Since when does an ambulance have a hook and ladder on it? I have been telling everybody who has not heard. I know that it’s against company policy, but I think it’s bullshit like most of the other policies, people have a right to know.

Later on in the night I managed to get relief duty. Now I can be away from (redacted) for at least two hours. Hopefully I can roam around after my evening break. I usually do and nobody says anything (hell they don’t even acknowledge when I call people out on the radio), but that was when the old Supervisor worked here. Now Predator is officially in-charge of Evening Shift. He took over as Supervisor and now he can officially act like king shit-dick. No one had told him yet (at least I don’t think so) that the position is salary. He does not get over-time like Lead Officer positions. Of course he probably knew this already since he has not been working events. Just to give you an idea of how loyal Mr. Ass is, he has worked over-time. Sometimes an additional 15 hours, without a complaint. That’s pretty fucked up.

Anyway if I am able to roam I will be alright. Then again I have never asked in the past, so… eh. Sure enough (redacted) was all pissed off that he had to guard no one all by himself once I finally got back up to the gallery. Too bad, so sad, I have crops to farm in the corner under the camera now...

When it comes right down to it (redacted) is not such a bad guard. No really he is one of the best, but it's just that working with HIM for 12 hours is no fun. I mean it is fun to observe and get information of the overall crazyness of the museum, but otherwise no it's not fun actually. Which reminds me I should pick up some alcohol on the way home today... 

Paperwork

This is kind of a part 2 for “Keeping Track” but thought it would work better on it’s own. We have to keep track of our galleries. Are the cameras and motion detectors working? Any damage to the art? Any unclaimed packages?

These are the things we have to look for daily while opening our galleries. Every gallery is different and comes with other things to check too, but it’s really just nit-pick crap. None of this is really monitored later, or notes made.

Only the Security Room knows if the motion detectors are working. Only the Art Handlers know if the cases are secure. If anything on these sheets is incorrect, and our names are on them (which they always are), we are screwed. Luckily we all take solace in knowing that they are not actually checking it.

I learned from an inside source, long ago, that no one actually checks the Gallery Officers’ paperwork. They do not actually check the Relief Officer sheets either. Where does it  all go? It goes into a drawer, then at the end of the week it is shredded.

Do you think THAT is insane? Hang on it gets better. A couple people that work in my department that the paperwork very seriously. They will even go as far as arguing until blue in the face about it being done right.

Another guard wastes her time writing whole short stories (not actual short stories but they are very detailed). Going into great description every single work day. I once tested my boundaries by being silly with the answer to “Do you smell any unusual smells or odors?” and I got no backlash so… Sheet on it.

November 1, 2014

I was prepping for National Novel Writing Month so there was not much to cover in the month of October. In fact at this point I was having a "crisis of faith" over continuing these little journal entries. In reality nothing really much happened in October (that I can remember), I just kind of sleep walked through it while thinking of more important things. 

November 1, 2014: I have not made an entry in a while. It’s not like there has not been anything to report but at the same time I have not had the drive to do so. I have been focusing on other projects and things more worth writing about. I think by this point I have driven home the fact that my supervisors are messed up in the head. There is no escaping that, no matter what psychiatrists might say about personalities with delusions. I just find it so astounding how they keep getting away with stuff. They are losing Relief Officers. Both J's are now normal Part Time officers like me. This way they work three eight-hour shifts rather than five five-hour shifts. They were no longer paying them benefits anyway, so they must have figured “the hell with it.”Apparently, (redacted) was let go. He was not able to work the Big Event so Knucklehead fired him. I think he is better off because this was just his secondary job, he is doing much better over at Famous University. He can now get a good night’s sleep too.

There is a new relief guard, his first name is Robert. No one seems to know his last. He looks just like (redacted), sounds like him too, and the last time I saw him (last Thursday) he had shaved his head! He is officially “(Redacted) Jr.”! (Redacted) of course hates this comparison, not exactly livid, but gets very annoyed when it’s mentioned. He got into a rant with his lisp voice. “That man don’t look like me! I don’t know why everyone keeps saying that!” Bull shit haha! He told me if I keep bringing it up he’ll “no longer talk to me". I should be so lucky! Knowing him he will mention that he will “no longer be speaking to me” five more times after it’s official. Each time being more slurred than the last. 

All kidding aside (redated) is one of the best guards you can know at the museum I work. 

September 20, 2014

I typically like working weddings. I like them even more when I am able to sit down at one of the entrances and write about the retarded things that occur during them. 

September 20^th, 2014: (Redacted), the lighting engineer with the Art Museum, is an unsung hero of energy conservation. He has worked at the museum for ten years. Before he started working here the museum was producing 75 million kilowatts, he has knocked that number down to 30 million. He saves the museum $300,000 a year but has never received a raise. This seems to be the way of the place. To make matters worse for him the 4^th Floor has been refloored and the contractor says (redacted) can’t drive his lift up there without slabs of musanight being placed on the floor as track, In order for (redacted) to change the lighting using the lift he’ll need two assistance to lay the musanight track. A couple of the other art handlers could do that but at the moment they are booked moving art out of H.H. for refurbishment.

Also tonight there is a wedding going on. From 3:30 to 5:00 I was posted on the Loading Dock. Mismanagement's buddy was posted on the Freight Elevator. This was an essential position because this is one of those big weddings where tables and chairs need to be set up on the 3^rd Floor. Myself and A. J. were calling (redacted) to bring the Freight Elevator to our floors. The caterers were waiting while she was off doing fuck-all, at one point I had to ask Kevin to send the Freight down when he got the chance. Also, for whatever reason, you can no longer push the call buttons on the Loading Dock. Knucklehead had some key system set in place. (Redacted) even managed to jam the doors at one point. R.J. got that worked out somehow. Earlier in the day Mismanagement pulled her off of the old entrance in order to do arts and crafts down in the break room. What. The. Fuck? You pull a guard off their post to rearrange a fucking bulletin board for Halloween? Only Mismanagement could think of something like this.

The guests must be Italian or something, they seem like they may be a bit of a handful. I’m glad I’m getting off at 10. One of them came through the old entrance (where I’m posted for the wedding) and asked what door they’re suppose to come through. I was told that ony the bridal party could come through my entrance, everyone else has to come in through the other door AFTER 6:00PM. This one guy came in at 5:55 and complained that it was hot outside. To make him leave I said I’d make a call over to the other entrance and see what I could do. No of course I didn’t! I was about to go on break and I didn't like his attitude. 

I remember that not being one of my favorite weddings. They were all Italians from New Jersey so they all had really bad attitudes, even when they were sober. One of the ridiculous rules they have here is not being allowed to carry drinks on stairs. It was this wedding where I said "screw that". The only thing you can do since no one was working the court. 

Keeping Track

In Security there’s a lot of paper pushing involved if you work in the main office. It helps to take notes and write down everything (I would not have a blog without THAT philosophy). It helps a lot more to know where everyone is on their posts.

Where I work the Day Shift is very on the ball, but it’s the Night Shift that does the paper work. In fact the Supervisor of the Night Shift is a really good guy. Probably because he does not have to deal with the politics, but I digress.

Keeping track of your manpower is very important when your main goal is to secure something. Keeping track of who is where is important in any job that requires the maintaining of operations. Do not be like my manager; asking subordinates where so-and-so is posted. It is especially pathetic if you are the one who is supposedly in charge of posting officers.

Relief officers are the guards that switch out with the main officers, so that they can be relieved for lunch, bathroom breaks, etc. If a guard asks for a relief they are the ones that have to figure out where everyone is. Where I work we try to bypass the Security Office as much as possible. “What’s your location?” We ask or the guard states their location at the end of their message.

Try to ask the Security Office and all you get is either attitude or an “uhhhh” on the other line.