August 28th 2015

I am posted in 2^nd Floor today. Just got back from a four day vacation. Would rather work an eight-hour Friday than a 12-hour Thursday any time. The only problem is the people that run public transportation eat stupid pills on Friday. Well… more than usual. Even the train is a crap shoot. I have already decided that I am calling Uber at the end of the day.

Here in the 2^nd Floor they have a new infoboard set up to make people aware of the armed conflicts going on in the Middle East. They mention how devastating this is to the ancient pieces THEN as a foot note they mention the loss of human life. You can see how artsy fartsy fucks set their priorities. “It’s such a shame that these great pieces are being destroyed… oh yes and the loss of life is terrible too” is basically what they’re saying.

During my 20-minute break I was in the locker room, playing Metal Gear Solid Peace Walker and charging my iPod, when I overheard (redacted) talking to J.C. and Knucklehead's Mole about how they are still ganging up on him. He never takes me seriously so it’s not like we actually talk about this stuff. He always invites me over, but I don’t know if I can trust him. I have nothing against him. I honestly think he’s a good guy but he’s not right for this museum. The people here eat that up alive. Like I said before he’s kind of unreliable. He can’t ever get weed, he’s always late; coming back from breaks and sometimes getting to work. If I was in charge I really would not hire him.

I guess what I am saying is that he annoys me and I think he gets that. I will admit I do not really put myself out there when it comes to hanging out with people from work, that goes double for these people because I do not know whose in bed with who. I do have a few of them as friends on Facebook, and there I say and post whatever the hell I want. First Amendment bitches! You try to tell me otherwise and I’ll look forward to counting your money.

I would gladly help (redacted) out more if he did not insist on giggling after every piece of advice I gave him. THAT is what annoys me about him; his laugh-at-everything defense. Plus his problem is that he talks to everybody, that’s great anywhere else but it’s a bad idea here. Knucklehead doesn’t know the difference between personal life and professional. Also at the end of the day I got on the Passenger Elevator way ahead of Predator (who had the equipment basket). I got off and then hit all of the buttons knowing this was the only convenient elevator that leads to the Monitor Room. That is how you asshole. 

August 20th 2015

I am posted in Special Exhibition again. This morning was staff coffee but someone went to buy a couple gallons from a local coffee shop. Maintenance is suppose to put out coffee. It’s the only thing worth it, because the food is never good. In fact someone put Doritos out, this is all hangover food haha. If there’s no coffee then it’s not “staff coffee”.

Later (redacted) was here to do reliefs and she never called me out when she relieved me. She never really calls anyone out whenever she rarely does reliefs. Never talks to me either but it’s a fact that if you’re not black she doesn’t even look at you when you find yourself unfortunate enough to need to speak to her. I know the type, and militants aren’t worth the trouble of talking to. 

August 15th 2015

Today we had a long meeting about the policy of women breast feeding their babies in the galleries. (redacted) brought it up. Mismanagement mentioned that we can’t legally say anything to them, but can say something if other guests are offended. (Redacted) replied “well I was offended”. I’ve told him time-and-time again that no one cares, or does anything, unless a guest has a problem.

Also Father Time (or Mismanagement) hasn’t printed out Inventory sheets for the art books despite always having a meeting about it. I swear it’s like a bad situational comedy. I ask him for Inventory sheets, that we keep having meetings about, and he brings me Floor Inspection sheets that the Maintenance closet is already tripping in.

He said he would go downstairs and print up a batch. Some time later, after I got back from my lunch, I asked if he brought them up. He shook his head and said that he completely forgot about it. This is why you’re just wasting your breath if you ask for anything around here.

Also for a week now, and I forgot to mention this earlier, the Relief Officers must relieve everyone on the dot now. Gone are the days where we get relieved nine-minutes-of, at least for now. Don’t worry they still get their 30-minute lunch breaks. I guess this is to combat against their 30 minutes of hanging around at the end of the day. They’ll forget about this new stupid rule after a while.

Father Time not printing out Inventory sheets is kind of a bummer but not really a big deal. I’ve always made a game out of the sheets to help pass the time, but after a year I’ve already set up a game of my own. Plus I’m working on “The Project” while I’m posted on the 3^rd Floor. Write a page in this notepad, do a round, stop to play The Simpsons: Tapped Out, write down one of the art pieces, then rinse and repeat. Also every hour I exercise with the fire extinguisher by the back stairwell.

I know what you’re thinking and yes this place gives you a lot of time on your hands. Rest assured I’m not in charge of anything vital, unless you’re one of those artsy fartsy fucks, in which case your face is red with anger. Be mad bro… Be mad.

Back on the subject of relief times being tighter than a cat’s ass; Father Time has done evening reliefs for the last few Thursdays. He’s not actually suppose to be here past 5:00PM. Actually he shouldn’t be here past three years ago, but that’s beside the point. You’re suppose to start evening reliefs at 5:15, he starts his at 4:55! And he’s Father Time so no one’s going to tell him otherwise. Sticks got to leave early, he was posted at the staff building all day. I hear it’s a nice gig provided you know how to work a switchboard.

Also this is the second Thursday that Mr. Ass has had to cover for Predator on the evening shift. Though unfortunately Predator still works here according to Buckwheat. He’ll run out of whatever meds he’s taking and become an asshole again I guarantee it. 

We Are Number 10?

I was just recently informed that the art museum where I work is ranked number 10 in a contest for best free museum in the United States. Number 10… And the e-mail was written by a staff member with ties to spinning bull shit. (Allegedly written by them, it was filled with typos, and the supposed person’s name was misspelled, most likely Mismanagement’s doing). I thought for sure we would be number 45.

Next let's consider where this museum is located, one of the most corrupt cities in America. No I'm not talking about Chicago, I should be so lucky, no I mean of course Baltimore Maryland. Ground zero of all the anti-white hatred and Black Lives Matter militant attitudes in the country. A real family friendly destination that undoubtedly surpasses Disneyworld (yes that’s sarcasm).

By all mean let's make the museum number one. By all means walk around the building handing out copies of a possibly forged (and albeit typo riddled) e-mails to get people to vote for the corrupt institution that you have tarnished with your ties to HR. By all means give the employees a free luncheon to “show your appreciation” while actually just trying to get us to vote.

No as you can probably already tell it’s not working on me. I ended up voting for the Smithsonian. That’s a museum that disserves to be number one, because it has something worth seeing. Then again D.C.’s the most fucked up out of all the corrupt towns in America, but at least it’s not this museum. 

August 8th 2015

Not much happened today. I am posted in the Special Exhibition again so I remembered to bring my PS Vita with me. I discovered (redacted) is fucking insane. While she relieved me she noticed some smudges on one of the cases. Smudges. Not cracks or signs of attempted art theft. Just smudges. They are most likely on the INSIDE of the damn case or else Maintenance would have cleaned them ages ago. Guess who didn’t have to write up a report at the end of the day? It’s times like this that I am thankful of this place's incompetence.

August 1st 2015

Missmanagement's cracking. She’s trying harder to grasp onto what little power she has left. Had us do rounds this morning supposedly taking notes to see if we were doing our jobs right. While I was over at the staff building I noticed they moved her office again. She WAS in the Lower Level but now she’s over at H.H. where the Docent's use to be.

It took forever to get the info from D.J. Not because she’s a tough nut to crack with info, but because she caused a miscommunication with her answer to my basic question of Missmanagment’s new office. I should know better by now to ask questions. 

“Where is her new office?” I mistakenly asked D.J. after I noticed her cubical dismantled and empty.

“Across from the old Docent Room” she replied. That being Knucklehead’s old office.

“You mean Knucklehead’s old office?”

Then she replied “no across from the Docent Room!” In that self-frustrated tone of hers.

After we did this back and forth, and I explained the layout of H.H., she said “her new office is in the Docent Room.” But she said it in a way as if she was finally getting through to me when it was the other way around.

One good tweek that makes things easier is there no longer is a #12 key on the 4^th Floor. Everything is now on the 56-4 set. All in one place now. Why the hell don’t they think of these little things sooner? Because you need an (redacted) to almost lose a key before that kind of change can be made. They should have done that ages ago. The more crap you give a person responsibility for, the more likely it will go missing.

Also I volunteered for some Tuesday thing from 10:30 to 3:30, probably more “guard lighting crew” duty. I better charge my PS Vita, I’ll need it. 

July 23rd 2015

Like usual my spidey B.S. detector is on high. Worse of all I’m not prepared for this 12-hour Thursday, luckily I’m halfway through before I decided to jot today’s retardation down. This will keep me going for as long as I have paper.

My blutooth headset was in the laundry. It lit up first but all-in-all it’s dead. R.I.P. little time killer. Also I’m running out of paper on my notepad (the small one) and didn’t bring my USB cord for my tablet. Though luckily I can work on “The Project” using ink and paper. That’s one of the ways I’m killing time.

Mismanagement is in anal-retentive mode today. She had a meeting about literally nothing. I mean more nothing than usual. She seemed tired and slurry, having the meeting for the sake of one. She mentioned that if the littlest thing happens we will have to write an incident report. Sure enough after a meeting with (redacted) that very thing happened.

He came to relieve me for my hour break. I gave him both sets of keys, I come back an hour later and the #9 key is “missing”. So I call the Monitor Room and tell them what happened. Five minutes later (redacted) comes back upstairs and tells me the key fell down the stairs. Yeah right, the dope didn’t even check his pockets properly. According to Sticks and (redacted) this stuff happens with him every once in a while. So of course Mismanagement is on overdrive today. I… no WE had to write incident reports because of it.

At the meeting she also mentioned that the art inventory sheets needed to be done, but as always Father Time somehow thinks that means “floor inspection sheet”. I let him know I needed some inventory sheets made up, he then brings me more inspection sheets! Someone must have put that idea in his head a long time ago in case people asked him. The idiots are programmed a certain way here, and it’s not like Father Time needs much convincing to begin with. He was at the meeting where it was announced we would be using reorganized inventory sheets.

Unless he just tunes her out, which I can sympathize with. He also almost passed out while giving out everything this morning. He really should retire before this place kills him. During my 20-minute break I asked him if he thought things were getting better or worse. He said once everyone [Mismanagement] realizes where their place is everything will get better.

Tonight the museum is trying a private-event-since-everyone-is-here thing like they have done in the past on a Thursday night. Except tonight I’m the guy that has to play crowd control. It’s only suppose to last an hour though. And it’s only on the 3^rd Floor. A beat-boxer and a percussionist. What the hell either has to do with Medieval or Renaissance art I don’t know. Some of you can call me ignorant for not “getting it” and others can agree with me. I don’t care which, all I know is I have to deal with it tonight.

I remember that this night Predator tried beat-boxing too while he was uncle Tomming it with the performers before closing. By that point he was already in the hole, but at least his medication was kicking in...

Something Strange Going On

Recently where I work. There have been health issues going on in my department. They are more unfortunate occurrences because of those who have been involved, not those in the department. Heart problems seem to be a common cause of death and/or an ambulance call.

My friend Sticks had a heart attack during his off hours, but he's doing better than ever for a guy in his 70s. My other friend A.J., who always justifiably bucked Knucklehead and Mismanagement, gets a heart attack at work yet Knucklehead has the ambulance go around the building before the paramedics are allowed to help him. A.J. was never popular with the higher ups because he spoke his mind but that's no reason to stall a man's medical attention. His isn't the only case of suspicions to commit murder.

There's this old guy that works here. I mean like "why are you not retired" old, he's 86. He's also very senile, and an actual danger to a Security department, but possibly the perfect killer because of it. Knucklehead doesn't like someone? Send in Father Time.

It doesn't take Sherlock Holmes to connect the dots, but before I explain why, here are the two most recent examples. George and Kenneth; George died of a heart attack a few months ago on his way to work, Kenneth had a heart attack at work a month ago while here. On the staff sheet that morning I was intended to be posted where Kenneth was, as announced by Father Time, but I switched to another post until the accident occured. At which point I took over for Kenneth after he went to the hospital. Father Time is the guy who sets up the post assignments, in the morning, but keep in mind that he also senile.

Both George and Kenneth (respectfully) have been called into several secret meetings for one reason or another. Kenneth not so much, and took it in stride when he did, but George was constantly being led aside by Father Time for some nit pick reason or another. Each meeting a punch to the good job he was doing, and another black mark on his good day.

I've said it time and time again. Knucklehead, and Mismanagement, pick a sheep from the herd and focus their hate on it. Father Time is the one who leads it to slaughter. I've been in enough of their slander meetings to know the feeling of your heart wanting to burst from the stress. 

July 20th 2015

So here I am at this training seminar, pretending to take notes like I did with the First Aid Training. It started off weird with everyone looking over my shoulder to see what I was writing. Once the Directors of the museum left it started working out. Once I got my coffee everything got better obviously. The seminar lady wanted us to share but the head of HR is here. Just to remind you she is taking notes on everything. I stayed quiet most of the day. They put me in a group of three with the redacteds. So I was as cryptic with my responses while still being honest about the fact I didn’t want to be there.

Later, during one of the breaks, I tried to ask Judas and the Canine Unit patiently for a property pass. Both of them practically snapped at me saying I would not need one, automatically ASSuming that I had my bag with me. Little did they know that I had already put it in my locker? What’s the big deal? Well when a staff member enters the building (ie the main museum) they need to have their bag checked both going in and coming out. I never bother with any of that bull shit because like you I don’t consider it an actual thing. As I walked away Judas said “I already signed him out”, well she didn’t. Once again I got to see that “oops” look on her face when I proved her wrong again.

We got a booklet and the damn thing pretty much knew me to a T. That’s actually kind of creepy. Therapeutic though since I need some answers after what happened in Chicago with Britt. The funny thing is the head of HR was taking the notes the entire time so the only time I opened my mouth was to joke. Predator, on court ordered happy pills apparently, took every opportunity to speak. That’s the one good thing about being a loner, you get to sit back and let the psychos build dirt on each other. Then write about it for a blog entry of course…

July 18th 2015

I didn’t think I’d have anything to write about today. Like usual this place is a surprise. Apparently (redacted) IS going mad with power already, at least for Martin. He told me that he was called into a private meeting with Knucklehead over some text messages she had on her phone. I do not know why she is picking on him, or what the nature of the situation is, but this seems like the level of deceitful shit that goes on here. Perhaps she thinks she can get him fired over something that happened in their off hours? Regardless you cannot do that to an employee in the workplace. It’s unethical and also goes against his First Amendment rights. As I said I do not know the nature of the situation. These texts may have been sent WHILE he was at work, in which case she has him, but it doesn’t make it any less betraying. *

My advice to him was to get a lawyer, the only guy I know who isn't my lawyer, is George’s friend Brian. I texted him earlier to get Brian’s number, hopefully for Martin’s sake he will reply back. While I’m on the subject of lawyers they better not pull that crap with me. I almost sued them (and WILL in future if they fuck with me) over the Kelly situation. And after getting myself out of Baldy's false accusations they have been walking on egg shells around me. Maybe she should focus her hate on someone deserving of it; like Predator.

Today I was going to be posted on the upper floor of the old building. You know the throwaway post? Instead of having me be a roving guard. I suppose they know better by this point than to give me that much freedom. Just so R+G+G would not be over crowded I decided to be a semi-rover. That is until Monitor Room found out (redacted) was not coming in today. So now I am doing reliefs, two of which are on the doors! “I ain’t even mad” is the saying in my mind during times like this. The 2PM lunch break still sucks though.

As I was sitting at New Entrance, relieving (redacted) for his break, (redacted) came strutting in like she owned the place. Yeah she’s lost her shit.

*"Martin" (that's not his real name obviously) was not the only friend that (redacted) betrayed in order to get her new position. She was actually the one who talked me into asking out Kelly to begin with. So she knew exactly what she was doing. Of course Mismanagement not doing her job was the perfect push too. (Redacted) thinks I'm some dumb white boy who does not catch on to these things. 

July 16th 2015

July 16^th 2015: This day was going pretty smoothly, I’m two thirds through this Thursday before it happened. Hang on, let me pull a cliff hanger and tell you the good news first. I won’t be in the mood for it later.

I call my bank and the money taken from the coffee machine has been put back in my account. I discovered this on my 20-minute break AFTER getting $1.60 in change from the vending guy. So I guess you could say I owe HIM $1.60 now. Actually the museum owed me $4 anyway so this works out. The other piece of good news is I was able to do that assessment thing ON THE CLOCK this morning rather than do it in my off hours.

So the downside (ie the bad news) I have to come in for some training seminar THIS coming Monday. That’s not all though, Predator is also in my group. So not only do I have to come in on my day off but I also have to do this koom-ba-ya crap with HIM. At least I don’t have to do it alone. Chris, (redacted), Captain Redacted, (redacted), and Buckwheat have to be there too. Which makes me wonder if it’s some kind of setup. I don’t care, Predator IS an asshole in both personality and scent. Simple as that.

It’s going to fuck up my typical Sunday plans. I’ll have to go to the bar Saturday night instead. I’m going to participate as less as possible. 

100th Post!

A little over a year and I'm still working on this blog part time. Well I still work at the Art Museum, and there is still goofy unethical bull shit going on there. I might be about a year behind in the journal entries, but Jane Goodall has other irons in the fire.

Don't worry, a lot of things changed and a lot of things didn't in that time. All of it a learning experience for all of us. If I can say anything at this time it's that this place has turned me into the savage bastard that we should all be when dealing with corruption.

What's that old saying? "No surrender, no quarter"?

July 11th 2015

I found out the hard way that the new coffee machine in the café charges $15, up-front, if you use a credit card. The little cups of coffee are only $1.60. I think you can see the problem here right? So on my lunch break I went up to the Monitor Room hoping Mr. Ass was there. No, I should be so lucky, instead it’s Mismanagement herself sitting at the Supervisor’s desk.

Like usual my simple idea of putting a “cash only” sign on a public machine to prevent people from getting screwed over, had to be an “official” phone call. No doubt to the girl in the store, who are in charge of the machine, but she not the one to talk to. You know the usual; whenever Mismanagement involves herself in something simple it has to be a unnecessarily big operation. She did not even explain the problem right. Saying “the machine doesn’t work when you push the button.” What fucking button!? 

Jesus… So I go downstairs, put a piece of paper in the card reader (my original plan) then go talk to the girl in the store directly. I tell her what’s going on and Mismanagement is two steps behind me holding the paper sign I had just put on the machine. She stands by the counter holding it in her fingers. After she repeats herself about me “not being authorized to place a sign”. I snatch the fucking thing out of her hand and walk off to finish the rest of my break. Don’t you hate when people try to keep stuff like that away when you try to grab it? I’ve been there but she was too slow. I’m gonna keep pressing the matter until I get my money back.

I got into it with D.S. at 5 West earlier during a round with Stewart. I know they are both Mismanagement's buddies so I made sure to speak my mind without caution.

July 10th 2015

Found out today that (redacted) is now in charge of what Mismanagement was suppose to be doing. This makes sense since (redacted) did everything anyway, and now it’s official. She’s also a lot chipper now, I just hope she doesn’t get corrupt with power like other black women that get a shred of responsibility in this city.

I know what you must be thinking; no I do not intend to start talking to her just because she’s got more power than all of the assholes (sans Knucklehead). I am not a kiss-ass. I do not really like drinking with her still. Mismanagement is constantly on the radio just to let us know she’s still around. She even got on the radio to let base know that (redacted) and Buckwheat had audio tours. I suppose she does have the time to “train” the new guards between looking for trouble and watching cat videos. Still audio tours are not radio call worthy. Half the time it’s like she forgets she’s not the Manager anymore, and makes radio calls that are not to be answered anyway.

At one point she forgot what she was going to say.

“Mismanagement to base.”

“This is base go ahead.”

Then there was a bit of silence for a couple minutes.

“Base to Mismanagement?”

Then she replied back like she never called them earlier. “This is Mismanagement go ahead.”

“Uhh we’re still waiting for your message…”

And that was the end of the radio conversation. She got back at (redacted) though. He kept calling her for some reason at New Entrance. She never replied back. God only knows why, maybe he heard a rat fart in the AC vent or something. 

July 9th 2015

Apparently July 4^th went off smoothly, rainy but boring. That is the kind of day I would not mind working if it was not a federal holiday. My trip to Chicago was great, but not as great as I thought it would be. For personal, and semi-professional, reasons I won’t go into it. However I can say that compared to Home Town it really has it’s shit together. I felt bad coming back to the piss stained walls of public bathrooms and disorganized public transportation.

With all that said there have been some changes since I have been gone. Mismanagement's “office” has been moved to the basement of the staff building. We went on one of her little field trips there. She has to wear a uniform now too. I hadn’t noticed before just how badly she tries to get our attention or start a conversation. This morning she kept thinking out loud and couldn’t decide what she was doing. I pretty much told her to piss off by saying “well we will meet you up there at 9:30”, repeating her instruction for everyone to meet her in the Loading Dock at that time. Everyone laughed and she got the hint.

Do not take that the wrong way, I am far from being the people’s champion. I already found it pathetic how she did not do anything, but it’s brutally obvious now. She wanders around like Predator looking for both trouble and to remind everyone she still exits. Today she came up to the 4^th Floor and tried to pick a fight. I was writing in my notepad, like I am doing now, and tried to pin a cell phone usage on me. The look on her face, when she saw it was a notepad, was precious but she did not back down. She replied “Are you sure? I hear a noise.” Someone had started playing the info video screen, and there were a bunch of kids on tour in the gallery. I pointed this out to her. To which she replied “hmmm are you sure?” I said “well I’m not in YOUR head.” Ok maybe I didn’t say that last thing, but I was thinking it. She still walked off defeated one way or the other.

The other piece of news is that Reggie quit Wednesday. No one really knows why, but he told me he was going to. I am just shocked that it happened so sudden. I guess after Mismanagement’s demotion there’s no need to fight left. 

June 25th 2015

June 25^th, 2015: I am posted on the 3^rd Floor today and Mismanagement swapped my 12PM break for Sticks. Its ok though cause today I noticed karma has one hell of a way of crapping on this corrupt shithole. I discovered two things today; big news type of things! First the café got shut down for health code violations. It would make sense because their food (if you can call it that) was horrible. Even the coffee was overpriced and bland. Don’t know if I mentioned this before but Shannon was obviously involved in the Kelly thing (and as I mentioned she was fucking Predator) Funny how it happened after I told her about it, and after my meeting with Uncle Tom.

The other [second] piece of news is Mismanagement is getting demoted. Well this is actually a mixed bag. Depending on how you look at it (and there’s plenty of that here). Essentially in the meeting, with Knucklehead, Uncle Tom, and a couple other officers (in the breakroom), he said that Mismanagement would no longer be Assistant Manager, but would instead be a Supervisor that everyone would still report to, BUT this new position would basically do all of the things Mismanagement was never doing anyway.

So one way to look at it is Mismanagement justifiably got knocked down a few pegs. Losing some of her bullshit “duties” and has been put in a spot where she might quit out of frustration. She was always useless so now it’s official. The other way of looking at it is the obvious “Wait doesn’t that mean there’s yet another boss to report to?” Technically yes, but Knuclehead and Tom's logic has us reporting to Mismanagement (which we never did anyway) and that this new person will only report to them directly. Almost like a new special office rather than someone in charge of personnel.

Mismanagement has been laying low ever since this morning, I wonder how she handled it. Her boy Predator is not talking, and I hope he does not try to apply for the job. I don’t think they would let him since he’s on P.I.P. His hair looked even more girly than usual. It’s like he curled his dreads, fuck sake. Anyway this whole day I have been smiling. The way Uncle Tom smiled and nodded it’s like he was saying “no need to sue, I got this!” Fuck yeah! The Assisstant Director must not be happy about any of this, or just doesn’t like up-beat attitudes. She’s not quick on conversation either. Asked how she was doing, got no reply, so told her mine was great. “Yeah good for you" she replied with a grumble as I put on my shades. Haha!

Though it was a cloudy day so I took them off around the corner.... Still this is great! All the right people are pissed and I think this is all because of their bullshit from a couple months ago. This IS better than a lawsuit. Instead of money I have a boost of morale, but I will try not to develop a hero complex. Otherwise I would be no better than Knucklehead.

Anti Social Attitudes ARE A Bad Thing But...

With the quality of idiots that come into this place, and the ones I work for, it’s easy to lose faith in humanity. As a security guard you are much better off keeping to yourself and let guests flock to you for help. Your day will go by a lot smoother and you’ll be to keep the thoughts of Darwinism at bay.

Even when you do help guests expect for it not to go anywhere. The dumb bastards will just forgot everything you said so don’t waste your breath. Being in Security is also a thankless job so just concentrate on the paycheck. 

June 20th 2015

That interview went great yesterday! I hope I get a call back, if I’m lucky it won’t be for another week and I’ll be able to go to Chicago during my “two weeks notice”. (never got a call back, fml) I hope you know by now that there is not actually going to be a two weeks notice. In the meantime I need to work on my exit strategy. I will let you guess where I am posted today; I’ll give you a hint, it’s one of the same two places I seem to always be posted.

Not much to report on today apart from me working a wedding tonight, so I’ll be here for another nine hours. Fuck… I hope I’m not posted on the Loading Dock.

Sweet I’m posted on the Old Entrance tonight. I will not be stopping any drinks coming down the stairs tonight. For the first 15 minutes I was sitting here at Old Entrance Predator was sitting down upstairs probably trying to take notes to use on me later. Nigga please! I am no angel but compared to him I’m a saint. Plus I have a couple years of shit on him. 40% of which is just from the last couple of months. When he came down to get the daily attendance paper he could not tell the difference between 39 and 35. You know someone’s got a mental issue when they need to control THAT.

Very easy going crowd tonight, only 48 people. By the way that’s a 4 and an 8. Most of them are old people, they are playing jazz music, and everything is moving ahead of schedule. I think we might get out of here early. They didn’t give us a half-hour break, but they didn’t give an hour break either. They met us in the middle with 45 minutes. I’m all for the let’s-meet-them-in-the-middle approach, but that’s just meticulous enough to be Predator's decision.

I have to pop outside occasionally just to wake up. It’s kind of humid compared to the pleasant AC filled Old Entrance, but it’s not gonna knock me out sitting here. This elevator music is snooze inducing, but at least guests can hear me when I shout “I’m sorry, you can’t bring that drink downstairs.” Ok now let me get back to reporting the truth. I was standing outside the door (before it started raining) and saw Predator littering. I mean the guy’s an asshole, that’s confirmed, but come on… Put that paper in the trash can, that’s five feet away from you, instead of just blowing it off the straw.

Got some recent developments. (redacted) forgot to hook the latch on the left bronze door at the Old Entrance. Damn near thought the glass door would shatter when the storm kicked up. If I come in tomorrow to work on “The Project” I will make sure to bug him about it. I am definitely calling a cab to pick me up. Typically I walk a few blocks before getting a cab. Not tonight, that is if we are getting out early. Maybe the rain will be over by the time these old fucks get done boozing.

Well it’s 10:55 and shit’s still going on. The bride is the daughter of one of the Board Directors, the little guy with no neck. Right now Sticks is outside waiting for (redacted) just like my dad had to wait for me the last time a Board Director had a party go on longer than it needed to. I have learned my lesson; I take cabs in situations like this, no more making THEM wait for other people’s fuck ups.

11:03 – 33 minutes longer than it was suppose to go on for. The thing back in October 2013 went on for an hour-and-a-half longer. The band sounds winded and people are starting to leave. 11:42, fuck my life. They are standing around acting like they are made of fucking sugar. I think Mr. Ass gave up on the 25-hour limit thing, I mean for real this time. If I don’t have a new job by then I’ll experiment with this Thursday. After all he said come in 9:15 to 9:15. So nine to nine I shall come in, breaking my supposed 25-hour limit. 

I really wish that ass-fuck Chris didn't bone me out of a good job. Or else I wouldn't still be working for Hitler and his trained apes. 

June 18th 2015

They have me in Special Ex today with (redacted). The first part of the day was spent hearing about how her daughter had her phone stolen. Don’t you hate it when you are walking away from somebody and they do not get the hint? That’s how she is, she also would rather talk over you than receive good advice.

I completely understand the need to vent, afterall that’s what I’m doing writing this, but my text and speech are clear. (Redacted) mumbles her words and slurs when her mouth can’t catch up with her thoughts. Luckily, for the most part, she is keeping to herself in Special Ex 2. Or Special Ex 1 as Father Time is calling it today. I guess he woke up and decided he was going to mix things up a bit. His new theory is that Special Ex position 2 is actually position 1 since it would be chronologically first on any other occasion. Confused? Father Time sure is, and it was his idea to begin with. Using that aforementioned logic he gave (redacted) the keys instead of me.

I later got the keys after (redacted) suggested we swap places. I liked this idea because position 2 has a sit down blind spot, and better 3G. However (redacted) came to relieve her in order to go over to Mismanagement’s office. Sounds like they’re trying to beat down on someone again. I really hope I get that job tomorrow.

Ok so the reason (redacted) was gone so long is because Mismanagement had her doing busy work, plus was making her hang out and chat in her office. At some point Mismanagement and D.S. had a falling out. Like what happened with Shorty a couple years ago. Apparently Buckwheat is a friend of Martin who’s allied with C.J. , so there’s no way Mismanagement can trust Buckwheat. Because (redacted) is weak Mismanagement is preying on that. Hopefully she will find some way out of it. (She barely knows how to say no to the woman so that will never happen.)

Looney Tunes came by to visit. She’s not looking as bad as they say she is. She has lost weight but not in the bad way. I told her I will not be able to come to her party tomorrow, but that I wish her all the best. While talking to (redacted) I found out that Mismanagement lived with D.S. for six months after her boyfriend kicked her out. I am starting to see why everyone both hates and feels sorry for her. Unfortunately, I do not feel sorry for users after what happened with Sam. That is probably why I hate her. 

June 14th 2015

Tonight only working four hours for the going away party of (redacted). As far as staff members go she’s one of the nicest. It will be a shame to see her leave but she’s worked here a very long time. It was hot as shit coming down here, I wish I never volunteered for it. If I keep writing and working on my iTunes playlists (thanks to my Bluetooth headset) the night will shoot through quick.

I honestly do not give a fuck about any of these people so mingling’s out of the question. So far it is just people that work on the upper floors. None of the succubi from Education are here *knock on wood*. I guess I can add Shannon to the deceitful list. Apparently her and Predator are seeing each other. According to (redacted); he took her home one night but once he got her clothes off he could smell stench. Predator is nothing but stench so the theory balances out.

Holy smokes we get a 30-minute break! Ok so the night does not entirely suck. Also Predator either ignored or did not notice the red earbud in my left ear. I was not really expecting a break. I'll eat something at 7/11, like a fruit bowl. Also (redacted) keeps staring at me. I relieve her in four minutes. Then I get to go on MY break.

Damn (upstairs lady) has worked here for 46 years and is STILL humble? Whatever her secret is (redacted) never learned it. Then again she does not have to deal with the ignorant public. It is raining now. According to my weather app (the accurate-ish one, not that shit Apple has) this rain is suppose to go on until 10. I plan to change out of my uniform and feel human again. So I had to bring my backpack with me. The backpack looks weatherproof so everything should be ok. My uniform I do not care about, but my electronics are a different story.

So after my break they told me to go relieve Sis on Center Street Door for 30 minutes. I relieve her, she goes to buy some 7/11, and tells me she already had her 30-minute break. “What the fuck?” is the unofficial slogan of the Security Department. Found out Looney Toons is not looking too good. Not sure if I already said it, but I’m not going to her going-away party. I do wish her all the best, but I can do that from afar. Maybe I’ll send her a card. 

30 minutes left with this thing. Predator was out giving the staff his G.T.F.O. stare. Complete with arm-cross action. He doesn’t even do that at weddings. Everyone ignored him regardless. And in hindsight this, among A LOT of other things, was one of the offenses that lead to his firing. 

Giving 100%

I cannot quite describe the level of moron that comes into an art museum. God knows the people in charge are even worse, but the actual guests make you wonder how they can manage to breathe. For that matter WHY are they allowed to breed?

As a human being if someone comes up to you, to ask for help, you help them. As a Security guard, who works in a museum visited by ignorant fucks and high class twats, you need to take a different approach. You essentially need to PRETEND that you are helping.

Really, that’s the key. Because they will go around the corner and just keep asking different people until they get what they are asking for. Yeah I know that sounds like a shit thing to do, but that is how human mentality works. We are not paid, or appreciated, enough to bother.

And please do not think that being one of those above-and-beyond out-going schmucks will score you points. I should know I use to be one of those when I first started working here. 

June 11th 2015

So today I was scheduled to come in from 9:15AM to 9:15PM. A typical 12 hour shift for Thursday. However I worked a 15-and-a-half-hour shift during the wedding Saturday (remember they have that retarded 25-hour limit). I figured I would use THIS typo to my advantage since they use theirs against me. I went into the Monitor Room and explained the situation. Mr. Ass said go home at 5:15PM.

He knows that but let’s see if he leaves a note with Predator. I am conducting an experiment today. So far the results are gratifying. (Redacted) did not even have me on the post assignment sheet. He told me I have a choice between the Sculpture Court or R+G. (Keep in mind this is a technically THEIR choice.) I had not been on the Sculpture Court in a while so I picked that. With a 12PM lunch break. Then (redacted) tells me I am working R and G (with the 11AM lunch apparently). Did not find that out until I called the Monitor Room to see if I was self-relief or being relieved.

By the way, speaking of Predator, he is on P.I.P. I guess I am not the only one who has had a problem with him. What I mean is the only one to have a problem enough to report him. Good to know HIS ass is in the spotlight. Well I will be here until 6:45PM so I can “do reliefs”. I will start my evening reliefs around 5. That will give me time to get the fuck out. Oh and I also discovered Rebecca is pregnant. I should probably start reading my Holy Bible again.

As far as proving a point, and using Ass’ fuck-up as a catalyst, I guess I would call this a draw. 

June 6th 2015

Not really much to mention today (yet). I’m posted up on the 4^th Floor for the hundredth time. Good crowds coming through, but I am still taking the day with a steady pace. (Redacted) came up during her free half hour. She only comes in for four-and-a-half hours so they will not let her have a 30 minute lunch break like the other relief guards, bastards!

One of these days  I will mention how she can just hide somewhere for 30 minutes, that’s what I would do. For that 30 minutes she goes around and reads. I wonder if she has a crush on me and that’s why she came up here? Probably not. She does seem a hell of a lot less suspicious than Buckwheat, so she’s probably not one of Mismanagement's cronies.

Mr. Ass did not give me a hard time about not working 4^th of July. He did not do his “everyone MUST work” or “You are REQUIRED to work” spiel. He only mentioned that I bring it up closer to THAT week so he can schedule me around it. So that’s cool. I am not the only Part Timer that does not wish to work it. None of us will get double time pay, even though it’s a federal holiday…

No we should because it’s THE federal holiday of federal holidays! Part Time, Full Time, fucking migrant worker; if you work on the 4^th of July you should get double time pay. Also according to my lawyer Maryland is an “at will” state so a company like them can make everyone work it. Hence one of the many reasons I am going out of town.

Tonight I am working the wedding from the Old Entrance. Predator has already fucked up my breaks, as per usual, but likely for him it will only be four hours, ten minutes since the last one. The thing I hate most about working the doors at a wedding is the event planner, (Redacted) in this case, is ultra anal about who goes where. How the fuck am I suppose to tell who exactly the wedding party is? Lime colored peach colored, orange, dress colors of the whole damn citrus field! My solution? Let everyone go where the hell they want. I call it the kill-them-all-and-let-God-sort-it-out technique. No one really cares anyway.

One thing’s for sure there are a lot of hot chicks up these stairs. Man I love summer! There’s a 90-year-old lady here as one of the guests. She just walked down the stairs so she could get to the elevator to go up to where she just came from.... This isn’t the museum’s fault… Well… It’s not her fault either. Some actual signs pointing to the elevators would help.

Predator just came down to get the paperwork and asked me what I was writing in my book. I told him short stories, not really a lie since these are short stories. Just unfortunately true ones. Each day’s plot line is not really new though, but even he’s quaking to know. My “Project” is working. It’s also a psychological experiment. Stay cryptic and it will drive them nuts! Guaranteed.

There’s this one woman here in a black dress, with dark hair. I think she might be Latino, Spanish descent more specifically. She was doing this whole seductive noir movie star act. Oh believe me I noticed her, mission accomplished. More like staring would be the accurate description. She looked toward me while walking up the stairs, I looked away, and she walked the rest of the way elegantly moped. Then stopped at the top and looked down at the men’s room for her husband/boyfriend/date. I looked away when she looked at me, then she walked away frustrated. I am all for meeting chicks at weddings, but not when they are with some other guy. That’s a no-no in my book.

June 2nd 2015

This will be the last time I volunteer for school tours on a Tuesday. What a waste of time it was! Mr. Ass posted me up on the 3^rd Floor. I figured today would be a short one because the afternoon event got cancelled. I got out of there at 12:15. None of the school tours came up there! What the fuck!? The only person that came upstairs was the lighting guy and his assistant.

The same thing happened during the last school tour. The whole day I was up in the R+G+G galleries. No school kids but the lighting guy and his assistant were there the whole time. Once again; what the fuck!? They should not call it “school tours” they should just call it “guard the lighting guy duty.” Why the hell is it important for us to be up there when he is?

This was all Mr. Ass' retardation of course. C.J. acts like she does not know but she does. I am not the only one with a bleeding ass, (Redacted) got fucked too. He was posted up on 4^th Floor. Like with me only the lighting guy and his assistant came upstairs. He better figure out his manpower before July 4^th. I already bought the ticket. 

Dealing With Guests: Don't Go Above And Beyond

I cannot quite describe the level of moron that comes into an art museum. God knows the people in charge are even worse, but the actual guests make you wonder how they can manage to breathe. For that matter WHY are they allowed to breed?

As a human being if someone comes up to you, to ask for help, you help them. As a Security guard, who works in a museum visited by ignorant fucks and high class twats, you need to take a different approach. You essentially need to PRETEND that you are helping.

Really, that’s the key. Because they will go around the corner and just keep asking different people until they get what they are asking for. Yeah I know that sounds like a shit thing to do, but that is how human mentality works. We are not paid, or appreciated, enough to bother.

And please don’t think that being one of those above-and-beyond out-going schmucks will not score you point. I should know I use to be one of those when I first started working here. 

May 30th 2015

Well today was interesting. First of all Mismanagement announced RSVPs for two different private parties, while also asking for volunteers for upcoming events. Nobody was sure to call their names out because they did not want to get volunteered for anything. I do not want to go to any of the parties. Not with these people!

Thursday I came in on my day off (a rarity) and (redacted) confronted me about saying “oh you lucky bitch” when she was getting off early from the wedding this last Saturday. I did not have any meanness or hate in my voice, but since she’s ignorant, belligerent, and an over sensitive black woman going through menopause… everything means something different. She goes into a tizzy about how it hurt her feelings and that she would never “disrespects me like that”. Jesus Christ it was over the moment it was said, with nothing but mockery in my tone.

When I got up to the fourth floor a surprise was waiting for me. The left cabinet door on the Highboard piece was opened sometime Thursday or Friday. It was not tampered with while I was here Wednesday. Mismanagment was really trying hard to look like she was doing something. She took pictures like a CSI at a crime scene.

Once the Curator came out to check on the damage Mismanagment was getting in the way while I was trying to get her brain straight with the situation at hand. 

Me: “I was not posted here Thursday or Friday, and it was not like this Wednesday”, Mismanagement: “so it must have happened Friday night.” 

Curator: “we weren’t open Friday night.” 

Mismanagement: “Oh I meant Thursday night.” 

Every time Mismanagment talked she spoke with delay. Not certain if she was trying to pretend like she was an investigator or if she really was having trouble keeping up with the scenario. I think it happened while (redacted) was on post.

I really fucked myself today. I intended to take pictures for “The Project” but forgot to put my SD card in the camera. Where is it? In the SD slot of my laptop which I left home because I thought my free moments would be spent taking pictures. Like I said “fucked”. Speaking of which Mismanagement took the weekly floor sheets from the clipboard while I was away on my lunch break. This “investigation” really got her moving. There should be art damage every Saturday. I feel bad about (redacted) every time she tries to strike up a conversation I always seem to be on the move. Like I said before she’s artistic and a really sweet girl. I do not want to give her the impression I do not want to talk to her. However I do not want to get involved either. 

May 27th 2015

I came in Sunday to continue work on “The Project”. As I was leaving Mismanagement was calling for one volunteer to stay for something. Great way to spring it on them at the last minute! I just walked right out the door without any acknowledgement. No shortage of crazy today! “The horse painting” (it was actually the painting with the ships) fell off the wall in the Dutch Gallery. So they had to assign a guard to it, making sure no one goes past the extensions.

This morning Mismanagement had a meeting about some new art inventory sheets they are working on. It feels like it’s been almost a year. Anyway she was in charge of post assignments and did not even notice (redacted) sitting behind her before saying “(redacted's) not here”. The one actually useful piece of information, within her Abbot and Costello routine, was that Looney Tunes is officially leaving the museum. Captain Redacted suggested we have a going away party at the bar across the street. I am not going because Mismanagment will be there and the place is over-priced. Even if it was cheap the Security Department still would not pay for any of it.

The door at the New Entrance is still broken. Maintenance was there this morning trying to fix it. Once they finally did, and he saw Knucklehead marching up the street, (redacted) wasted no time leaping up from his seat to report the good news. Knucklehead stood there looking like he was not going to give out a gold star anytime soon. They changed the name of “The Knight’s Hall” to “The Great Room”. No one really knows why so don’t ask. The room is not really that great enough to rename it THAT. The best thing about this is how obsessed Reggie got about it. You already know that once he grabs on to one of their littlest fuck ups that he will not let up. Especially if it makes him look bad in front of a visitor.

That’s probably what it’s REALLY about, but he does make a good point. When were they going to let the Security know about the name change? It’s not like Beavis and Butthead don’t like having meetings about nothing. I suppose this is a level of “nothing” that’s actually beneath them? The big question I already asked. What was wrong with “The Knight’s Hall”?

May 23rd 2015

Posted in the Special Ex today. I have to work a wedding tonight so I have been sitting all damn day practically. and I get this weird suspicion (or is it intuition?) that I am going to be posted on the Loading Dock tonight. I do not know why, but I am feeling it.

Since its the Special Exhibition (Miss. redacted) told me to just go ahead on my 10-100, after asking for one. So I go to the bathroom, and I am already in a stall before Martin has (Mr. redacted) "relieve" me. Then he asks for (Miss. redacted) to call 225. I get back and (Miss. redacted) is flying off the handle to (Mr. redacted). I just walk by shaking my head, she will get around to filling my ear later with whatever the problem is. Apparently the Lead Officer did her "oh my God..." verbal beat-down on her. (Miss. redacted) has been pissed ever since. Her and the Lead Officer made up later on as they were leaving for the day. I still had to put up with the complaining until then though.

Great news! I am on New Entrance tonight, but they put (Miss. redacted) on the Loading Dock. That made her shoot out a whole new string of obscenities. Predator does not like her much and knows that is one of the last (if not THE last position) to close. Supposedly I am just here until the bridal party shows up. Then I lock down the doors and go up to the Court. At least that's the idea.

The bridal party actually entered through Old Entrance along with the regular wedding guests. I just let an 85-year-old lady in to use the lift. So I might be here until she leaves. (Redacted) is wondering around Center Street Lobby. He’s suppose to be on the Passenger Elevator. He’s talking to Moe and probably cannot hear his radio.

*later*

I love working the Court! I am relieving (Miss. redacted) at 10:30 on the Loading Dock so she can go home early. Sticks was going to give her a ride home but she was in too much of a hurry. She also owes me $2 on bus fare. 

Radio Etiquette

One of the things... Well the only thing apart from an ID card and keys, that a Security guard gets is a radio. This is an important tool for communication between guards and their "command center". Not that the communication exists that freely.

From a common sense perspective you would use these for emergencies, or direct code calls (lunch break, turn on/off alarm, etc.). However some guards just talk on them. Guards in the "command center" some times sound like the adults from The Peanuts so it's almost not even worth keeping your ear piece in most of the time. Everyone appreciates jokes, especially on long double shift, but the best thing is to keep the airwaves clear.

No matter the tone of the message bearer it's best to keep yours professional. You can tell when a guard isn't being that when they tell their life story on the radio, when no other explanation is needed. Believe me when I tell you "command" just assumes that everyone is wrong but them. Just don't bother swimming against that current. 

May 21st 2015

May 21, 2015: Exploding lightbulbs of death! Or at least that’s the way Knucklehead made it out in today’s meeting. Apparently the lighting guy got a bad batch of light bulbs that have been burning out. Knucklehead made it sound like they are shattering and spraying visitors with shrapnel, like the improvised claymore traps in Skyfall. Yes falling glass is serious, but most of these lights have protective netting anyway. I talked to Knucklehead about it, actually I corrected him, to which he replied “oh no I just meant the glass would shatter and fall down”. If someone gets injured by it I will encourage them to sue.

Later on in the day Mismanagement picked up a stray. An old black man with a walker, who had just left the museum, was dragged back in by her. Apparently he is confused and lost. It takes one to know one so she sits him at the New Entrance and continues on with her day. (Redacted) is the guard posted there today. He thinks nothing of it while Mismanagement announces, over the radio, that the man is waiting for someone to pick him up. (Redacted) goes off on his lunch break and Cliff takes over.

Cliff is always one to blow stuff out of proportion so he makes some phone calls and the police show up. Mismanagement comes down the street to check in on her mess, then calls Knucklehead over the radio to no reply. Ten minutes after standing by, waiting for Knucklehead to not show up, Mismanagement finally announces that there are armed officers in the building. This is not enough to entice glory boy to come to the main building. After not waiting any longer for Security’s tinker-toy procedures they question the man and personally call his assisted living home.

The whole time I was thinking they were going to take the poor guy on a “rough ride” and cause more riots, instead I think I am more concerned with his retirement home. This ghetto looking van shows up and the police get all of the information. Mismanagment makes (redacted) fill out an incident report, or he made HER make HIM fill one out… I can never tell with him. Anyway I hope that old man is not going to get beaten because he came to this museum. I mean we all do, but I feel sorry for him.

Mismanagement tried to screw Sticks out of his break again. He is posted on the 3^rd Floor and Captain Redacted is posted on the 2^nd. Which means Sticks gets the 12PM and Captain Redacted gets the 1PM. Thanks to a lot of diva melodrama he can get those switched based on his own personal preference. The same thing with Tommy Gun. On several occasions this favoritism has screwed with other guards' break times (including my own). Myself and Bill brought up why the break times are changed from their normal times. Mismanagement (feeling outnumbered) did her head shake thing and everything went back to normal.

May 14th 2015

May 14^th 2015: Before I start bitching about today let me mention Saturday (I will explain why there’s no entry in a second). So all last week was the Film Festival. The only day of which I volunteered for was Saturday. They posted me in the lower section of the Auditorium. Two movies I got a chance to sit down and watch; Uncle Kent 2 and Showgirls.

Uncle Kent 2 was a little independent movie written by Kent Osbourne. It wasn’t one of those that were hard to follow, but that guy Plumber (Plummer?) from last Thursday did not “get it”. The way he described it to me made it seem more complicated than the movie really was. Nothing’s hard to follow if you pay attention. Now Momento… THAT movie could be considered hard to follow.

The second movie, Showgirls, was just… Fuck I don’t know any other way to describe it other than “shit”. I guess it was sexy by 1990s standards but naked Elisabeth Berkley does not a boner make. Essentially the Art Museum  paid me, to not only sit down for four-ish hours, but also paid me to watch a soft-core porn movie. This is shit that you cannot write, it just happens and you have to document it!

Speaking of which let’s move on to today. When I got a copy of the schedule Saturday (yeah Mr. Ass actually made one this week) I noticed I was scheduled to work Wednesday AND Thursday from 9:15AM-5:15PM each. What the hell? The riots are over now. I call Sunday hoping to talk to talk to him, instead (redacted) connects me to Mismanagement, after I made the mistake of asking if she handles the schedules. Firstly, I should know better than to put things in the form of a question. Secondly, I used a poor choice of words with (redacted) who does not know anything really. Thirdly, she doesn’t actually handle the schedules (some people confuse “schedule” with “post assignments”) and barely does any work period. She tells me to come in Wednesday and “we’ll figure it out”. In that “I’m busy doing nothing so come in THEN for the hell of it and I’ll pretend to figure it out” tone of hers. No thanks! I halfheartedly (which is more emotional effort than she made) reply “ok sure”. Note that I said “hardheartedly”.

So I call Monday, Mr. Ass is SURE to be there on a Monday. Nope he wasn’t there.

So I call Tuesday and guess who I finally get a hold of? Yep! I mention the fucked up schedule and tell him I will work Thursday 1-9PM.

And there I was, posted up on R+G+G with (redacted), replacing Sticks who was covering the entire 3^rd Floor (Center and Charles). (Redacted) then tells me to call the Monitor Room informing me that my hour break (which is usually at 4PM) will be at 5PM, I call back a couple minutes later. It takes me a couple minutes to recover, and think, after the Pokemon like blast of confusion I receive. I ask her “If my hour break is at 5PM then when is my half hour break?” “7:30PM” she replies. I’m thinking “well fuck I may as well go home by that point” but I say “how about I go at 3PM instead?” She agrees to that but I didn’t know what time my 30-minute was. (Redacted) gives me 6:15PM.

Now here I am on the Court replacing (redacted), who I can only assume is replacing Reggie on the 4^th Floor (he goes home at 5PM on Thursday). The only person in the Monitor Room is Predator. I go in to ask him if I am self-relief or if I am being relieved at 6:15PM. Seeing that he’s already juggling half the museum (which is six times his usual amount of effort). I give him five minutes to figure out an answer. Five minutes later he calls me to the Monitor Room and says “6:15PM”. I fucking knew that already! You, dear reader, knew that already of course. I reply with my original enquiry “…but am I self relief or being relieved?” So either (redacted) will relieve me or I am self relief. Actually it looks like I am self-relief. (redacted) just said “Bye.” Her grand baby is probably in C.C.U. again. 

Cool I will be able to do 10-100s for the rest of the night. My first was (redacted) up on 4^th Floor. You know that boy is NOT right in the head! He tried tossing the keys to me. They almost went down the god damn elevator shaft! The guy is fucking goofy.