September 18th 2014

Where I work the Security Room has two issues when it comes to money. Firstly the Supervisor's desk is where reimbursements are placed (that is when our Manager is not trying to steal those). Secondly our Supervisor is "forgetful", luckily our Lead Officer was on the ball like usual. 

On September 18^th, 2014 I finally got back the $2 that fucking vending machine owed me. Every once in a while someone’s dollar gets eaten and they post a claim note on the front of the machine. I lost $2 and was not reimbursed. So once the next claim letter was posted I wrote in parentheses “I’m still waiting from the last one [claim note].” Sure enough today (redacted) got me my money. It’s been in Mr. Ass' desk for the last two months. Being in a good mood I ended up giving that $2 to some black guy bum who wanted something to eat. He goes right into the nearest liquor store and buys a can of Natty Bo. I guess you could call that social gambling. 

If we are to learn anything from this entry it's that I still lost that $2. More specifically I lost $2 to ignorance one way or the other. BUT it was MY $2 to lose. NOT the Security department's.

September 13th 2014

You ever have that one (or a few) coworkers where you wonder what the hell management was doing during the interview? Well we had this one guy who would be worthy of his own chapter in the book I am working on. For legal reasons I can only state his name as (redacted). He was a nice guy but how he made it past the interview has always been a mystery. We just assume he bribed Mismanagement with food. That usually does it. That would not work for me though because she does not like accepting food from white people. 

September 13th, 2014: A.J. brought the equipment box down into the break room and told all of us about what happened to (redacted) at the wedding the night before. Apparently Mismanagement set (redacted) up by posting him on the Loading Dock. (Redacted) always comes out onto the Loading Dock looking for food, so posting him there was already a bad decision. He was caught on camera eating a plate of food offered to him by the caterers. 

Predator called (redacted) into the Monitor Room to be reprimanded. After his chastising, he gathered his things, went out on the back stairs, finished the plate of food, then gave the Loading Dock keys to caterers. He was not actually fired right there on the spot, but he assumed he was and left for the rest of the evening. He came in today and was called into Mismanagement’s office. Either she fired him or it was just to write him up. Not sure which, but either way, she knew what she was doing. Which is more than what could be said for when she actually hired him to begin with. 

Even idiots know how to fix their mistakes once they come out of their drug haze. Well my manager still has not left her's but occasionally when people start to point finger, and talk, she springs into action in the most devious of ways. It was no secret that (redacted) at a weakness for food. That was her key and that was his downfall. Looking back I think he knew exactly what he was doing. 

Coordination

Where I work we have events that take over the museum for a few hours. A lot of art museums do, but ours are not as organized. Nine-times-out-of-ten the Event Planner is in charge and Security takes a back seat. Would be nice if they had their own radio…

Mismanagement, when she sticks around, takes over from a Security stand-point. Except no one likes to deal with her, or Predator, so they end up winging it on the orders. Sometimes the Event Planner only wants certain people to come through certain entrances. For example if there is an event during public hours only those who bought tickets can come in through one entrance while normal guests are segregated through the old one.

Kinda makes sense right? Of course I agree “segregation” is not the word I would use, that was Mismanagement’s choice of phrasing. She had those orders while Predator said that EVERYONE go in through the old entrance, then let the guests figure out what to do.

There is more a game of one-upping going on in the Security Room than actual operation. Everyone arguing about what to do rather than figuring out how to just coordinate. Worse of all is when they do not have a grip on their manpower. Which leads to them forgetting to give officers breaks when legally required.

They forget that a lot, especially during the above mentioned night. Officer (redacted) was covering progress of contractors in another building. Six-and-a-half hours, since his last break, they send me to relieve him for 15 minutes (just before I am about to go home). Then Mismanagement says 30 minutes.

I was only there for close to 20 when I had to call and remind her that I was neither a Monitor Room officer, nor would I be staying past my scheduled hours. You need to be firm ad know your rights. Do not let anyone tell you different, no matter what insane policies they come up with. 

What Do You Do Again?

In a previous entry I covered how to keep busy and how some guards pass the time. That is only the case with regular guards. It is what the people in charge get away with that is astounding. Luckily not every Security department has these problems (then again… maybe they do), but where I work it’s a problem for all of us. 

Not only of ethics but of actually maintaining operation. Where I work everyone in authority just changes the rules to suit themselves. In most cases they have to because they are unsure what those are.

As I mentioned in “Hierarchy” we essentially have more bosses than we have employees. My Manager likes to play games with everyone in her command. She is, for all intents and purposes, invincible to reprimand for these actions. What she actually does is unknown, even to her.

She once said “No one ever asks me what I do around here.” So I took the challenge head on and asked, “Ok so what DO you do around here?” I doubt she was expecting that so soon because her answer seemed improvised. “I facilitate the administrative operations.” Good answer, I know, but that is what is written on a resume. The real answer would have been “I do X and Y because of A and B.”

Even those tasks she leaves to her subordinates. The Supervisors are actually meant to be in the office now because other departments were complaining she did nothing. Well now she’s busy keeping track of the Supervisors doing what she is not. Confused yet? We are! And the real kicker is we still do not know what her original point of being here is.

August 30th 2014

I new sheriff is in town now. He's been getting stuff done since I wrote this entry, but there is not much he can do right now. 

On August 30^th Mismanagement and Mr. Ass had a meeting in the break room. It was suppose to be a meeting but it seemed more like they were trying to talk over one another with their own agendas. I do not get where Mr. Ass is coming from most of the time. Word on the street is he has turned into Knucklehead's bitch, and knowing where he’s come from that could be possible. However once The Equalizer started working here Mr. Ass has been in a much better mood.

Today “they” announced that Special Events and Part Time Officers (including Relief Officers) were once again restricted to “no more than 25 hours a week.” A couple of weeks after HR told Knucklehead they were allowed to work 32 hours. Either HR was bull shitting or he is trying to pull a fast one. There is a rumor going around that he’s looking for work elsewhere. He may as well since he does not do anything other than cause trouble and get in the way. Ever since The Equalizer started working here Knucklehead's been laying low, Mismanagement worked the night shift for the first week he was there. Now they are trying to make nice and put on a front. We all know they are uncomfortable with the change. Thursday I saw her and The Equalizer sitting in the café, I could not tell what she was saying but just from her movements and body language I could tell she was kissing up. He was looking in the other direction not paying her any mind.

With September being nothing but weddings, and the (big event) right around the corner, I know this 25 hour thing will not last forever. I have documented, in the past, the numerous times they have made then broke this policy. Regardless I’m going to start job hunting harder. 

Ok I lied I really haven't but I did concentrate harder on my writing projects! The 25-hour thing is illegal but now I have an excuse not to work here so much. :)

August 15th 2014

That moment when you find your self realisation and begin breaking the fourth wall. I'm sorry everybody.

August 15^th I worked another wedding. This time it was a gay couple. No, before you ask I do not have a problem with that. I am happy for everyone that gets married no matter what their background may be. On top of that I have been to worse weddings. This one is pretty good so far. 

Something interesting happened earlier. The DJ is a bit of a primadonna, really good at what he is doing, but anal. He shouted out “I need everyone to be quiet for 10 minutes while this lady [a chello player] finds her sound!” Because he was Asian (redated) called him “DJ Rice Scream.” He found out later that he’s Blasian (black and Asian) and is related to Mismanagement. That explains the deva attitude and the anal retentiveness.

As part of the music there were various singers. All of them great. The first singer, who was wearing a t-shirt with Will Ferrel and John C. Riley on it (from the movie Stepbrothers) started the show off amazingly. No one seemed to notice her but at that point they were not quite hammered. At this point in my time working here, two days a week, I notice the time goes by very quickly. It also helps that I was in H.H. for the first half of the day. Before you ask, no I did not touch my PS Vita the whole time. I have been writing this drivel instead!

August 8, 2014

Not all weddings suck, some of them are very pleasant.

On August 8^th I worked a damn good wedding. The crowed had fun, they were friendly, and the music did not suck. I wish the bride, groom, and their families all the best in the world. They were also a very handsome couple, so I hope their kids will be just as strong and beautiful. A lot better looking than the last couple. Christ the groom looked like Joffery from Game of Thrones and the bride looked like she was going to wear the pants in the relationship. 

I also liked the set up of this wedding versus others. The tables were set up in a way for the caterers to break it down faster, Also the families left EARLY. Typically we have to coax them out at the end but the DJ was still playing his set while everyone was gone! The best wedding ever.

Paranoia

Does anyone know that song by The Kinks called “Destroyer” with the lyric “paranoia will destroy ya”? Well we do not deal with transvestites, although this is an art museum, but there can be a serious air of paranoia. At least where I work there is.

In an art gallery you have a lot of time on your hands. If you do not keep your mind strong you will feel like you suspect stuff that is not actually happening. It is not like that everywhere, but where I work it is a matter of who is in charge.

Some guards have worked here so long that the constant policy changes have severely messed with their heads. For example I had some fun with (redacted). We were in the special exhibition and talking about one of the vases. He said “this one looks like an old bomb.” Honestly it did, because the vases were Japanese and it looked like it was recycled.

While we were both staring at the vase a woman walked into the exhibition. (Redacted) did not see her and she appeared just as he made his comment. She looked shocked and perturbed so I just nodded in agreement before walking away. (Redacted) got spooked and tried to make conversation with her.

Him and (redacted) always run toward trouble when they think they will get into it over an innocent little mistake. With the way this place is managed that might just be the case. The point is people like that think they are getting fired. It is nowhere near as bad as Mismanagement’s camera flash thing she was doing for a while. Trying to make us think she was taking pictures of us.

You do sometimes catch another guard out of the corner of your eye. They definitely are checking in on you around here. Of course there is a big difference between spying and awkward encounter. Once you get a feel for a place (not just security, this applies anywhere) you will become more comfortable with this mild paranoia.

You can never be cool with workplace paranoia, but you can spot the signs and laugh at yourself if you give into it too deeply. Hell maybe it will give you enough material to write a blog…