September 5th 2015

September 5, 2015: Today I’m posted on the Sculpture Court. I’m just not feeling it today you know? So I’ve been spending most of my time dicking around in the Docent’s kitchen. I wanted to see how good that garbage disposal thing is. Grinds up plastic utensils pretty good, but makes a weird grinding sound when I put metal in there.

I also dumped some old coffee and some cascade down there too. That should fix it. They have one of those green sponge, flower, brick things. Stabbed it a bunch of times with a cake knife then dumped a pitcher of water on it. Between that and tossing marbles into the glasses it was a pretty active day. Everything else was boring though.

In the break room I was playing Metal Gear Solid: Peace Walker, with Thompson and Bazemore sitting quietly, when Miss. Guy came lumbering in with her typical moaning and grunting. Then she started trying to make conversation with Bazemore. She wanted to know what I was doing and I snapped at her saying “What are you that black chick that talks through the movie!?” Thompson and Bazemore started laughing, Miss. Guy of course got offended saying “Well geez. Don’t talk to me if you’re gonna talk to me like that.” I didn’t want her to talk to me anyway. I got no food or money to give her. The conversation would have led to begging for one of those two things. I really didn’t care if I hurt HER feelings and I let her know it. Besides it’s Metal Gear Solid. You DON’T talk during a Metal Gear Solid cinematic. She said a little later “I am NOT a ‘black chick’.” She even contradicts her own ethnicity. 

Although in all fairness Lois Mayo (Miss Guy) is actually half ginger. So I guess that would make her a chocolate orange if I had to be completely politically correct. By the way that part at the beginning when I said "I just wasn't feeling it" pretty much describes every day I spent working at The Walters Art Museum. 

September 3rd 2015

September 3^rd 2015: Miss.Guy lost it a little bit during our impeccably useless meeting today. She got Stewart and Wilson mixed up with the 2^nd Floor after she had already posted Rooks and Thompson there. She then mentioned an event happening tonight. Something about taxidermy and “1,000 people” attending. 1,000 people? I guess if her split personalities count…

She is currently “training” the Relief Guards so every floor is fully loaded with guards. Even D. Smith (who is now Special Events) is here. Now that the Special Exhibition is closed we have two extra people, but this is four extra people on top of that! Everyone’s relieving each other, including me who is technically a Relief Guard today. Me, then Monti, then Wilkins. Which is cool because I get to sit down and have a proper surface to write on.

Speaking of writing Miss. Guy tried to give me some busy work. I am to get a piece of paper and check the books in the South Gallery (where I’m posted today). Only the published books originally until I told her three times that the info manuals were a bigger problem. Once she finally got the hell away from me I got to work checking every page. Yeah. That’s right. It’s Thursday. If she wants to give me stupid shit like that to do then her wish is my command. I’m also going to talk in a Victorian British accent until I’m done.

Miss. Guy said there would be a lot of staff from Conservation on the Court this morning. There wasn’t… There’s hardly anyone here now. The paper here at Charles Street says 65 people will be here tonight, how is that 1,000?

So Von Kunkle’s up on the Sculpture Court walking around for some reason. He hasn’t done this for a while. He barely leaves his office since the move, not that that’s a bad thing. He and Miss. Guy were down in the café interviewing the next victim. I mean new hire. There was also a crap load of kids too. Even if they were to give her correct she wouldn’t have heard it anyway.

So it seems like the carnival has come to town. What a freak parade this event is. I mean I know artists are snobby weirdo fucks, in a different dimension than the rest of us, but this not only solidifies that belief but adds a whole new layer of discomfort. Dead animals in little outfits.. This is art?

Turns out there IS a shit load of people here, what a sick world we live in. The only 65 people thing pertained to the Chamber of Wonders gallery. Where Joanetthe insisted on having her speech there. No, not the Auditorium where it would make sense and fit everyone. The artsies that really wanted to see it look at me with dirty looks as they go by. I smile right back and love it! This is the only legit way, in my profession, to give off my “go fuck yourself” mentality. Luckily the majority are friendly.

Originally the plan was going to be no more than 65, that turned into 82. Then Harris (Predator) allowed a handful of people to stand in the Hall of Arms and Armor. Then that venue filled up quick. Also that bitch Mona Roxx keeps coming in and out of the gallery. It’s been a long day so far, I make sure she gets a good whiff of my armpits whenever her midget ass she insists on going by. So the lecture is suppose to be over at 7:15PM. Well it’s Joanetthe so MAYBE 7:30. A lot of people keep saying that they can’t hear anything. Haha, yeah should have been in the Auditorium. Also Mona’s running her mouth about guests “going up and down the stairs with drinks”. Too fucking bad, I'm guarding the store, not the stairs. 

August 29th 2015

August 29^th 2015: A used condom was found in the Lower Level by the boilers. Nobody knows whose it is, but Miss. Guys used this opportunity to pass out pairs of rubber gloves to everyone. She’s also going around telling different people where it was found. She told Wilkens (most likely) to tell me that it was found in Ancient World (where I’m posted) “somewhere in the back”. During my break, while I was up on three working on “The Project” Stanbeck told me it was found “in the back by the stain-glass windows”.

So I went up to four and Thompson heard it was “in the Great Room/Knight’s Hall in the back”. Thelma was the one who told where it was really found. I know what you’re probably thinking “Miss. Guy is just using this opportunity to make everyone aware of how to dispose of this situation”, if you ARE thinking that then that’s real cute on your part. The only thing Miss. Guy is good for is spreading rumors and causing trouble. She might even be the one the condom was used on. Yeah there you go, that’s what you get for ASSuming Miss. Guy knows what she’s doing.

Two more horrible possibilities are Holmes+Harris and Mark+that-Hugh-Grant-looking dude whose his assistant. Both of these possibilities are sickening. Yeah that’s right gay anal sex sickens me and the idea of Holmes stooping that low is sad.

I don’t know why Antinelli is still here past 4PM but he’s funny during closing time. Twice he came up into Ancient World to ask if there were any people still in my gallery. I could hear him calling out “we’re closing in five minutes!” like MacLemore use to do. He even got on the radio and let everyone know there was a woman, at Charles Street Door, waiting for her husband. Ok?

Yesterday I volunteered to work Tuesday 10AM to 12:30PM. This morning Voss offered me relief duty on Wednesday instead so I volunteered. A little later in the day he tells me Hanger cancelled his vacation and offered me Tuesday. Not a big deal, I laughed it off, I’m just glad he made up his mind before I made any plans.

At closing time I saw Miss. Guy with some dude who looks a lot like her ex (but isn’t). Barely older than I am and has dreads. I suppose it could be them who left the condom since they were making their way upstairs (deeper into the building) instead of out of the building. Her new office is over in Hackerman House. Only way to get there is by heading up to the 3^rd Floor. She’s going to get snitched on, she’s never that careful.

Lois Anita Mayo also went by Lois Guy or "Miss Guy" before her divorce was finalized. At this time I'm not sure what the background behind that story, but I WILL find out one of these days.  

The Real Point

A couple years ago, when I started a work journal, I was doing it for various reasons. Mainly to gather research on just how badly run the Security department at an art museum is. I did it to cover my ass, just in case my bosses fucked up so bad I could use the gathered information to exploit their short comings. Which is actually what I’m going to continue to do now that I have moved on to a much better job. I was also gathering dirt for a well deserved legal dispute against them. Really a very good reason being that I stopped giving a fuck and just got paid to write on their dime.

However I have since moved on from The Walters Art Museum. Oh right… Yeah! That’s where all of this has gone down. The Walters Art Museum in Baltimore Maryland. The main culprits of this depressingly sad true story being Lois Anita Mayo (Mismanagement) and Chris Kunkle (Knucklehead). When I get a chance I’ll make sure to write a blog post that introduces you to all of the other characters in this macrame play.

I might be gone, but none of the crimes they have committed will be forgotten. If anything I’m a bigger threat outside of the museum. From this point on I won't be redacted anyone's names. At least not the horrible people. Those of you who were actually decent to me during my time at The Walters Art Museum you can remain anonymous.