Over Used Cliché’s: Alcoholism

With everything you have read so far (if you’ve been reading it) you probably wonder if Security Guards can be drunken wrecks. The answer is; “I’m sure they can be” but it mainly depends on the person. With what I get paid I don’t think I could afford to be.

Everybody I work with seem like they could use a drink and my manager seems like she drinks a lot with how she runs this department into the ground. Just remember boozing it up is never the answer. No matter what job you have. At least not every night…

November 28th 2014

All kinds of mysteries today, and some of which are better off not investigated for the sake of sanity reinforcement. 

November 28, 2014: Like Wednesday I am working here this Friday to make up for lost hours during Thanksgiving. Once again I am posted on the Sculpture Court, except this time I am posted with Mr. (redacted) instead of Looney Toons. I never thought I would say this but I think he’s almost as messed up as she is. I don't mean mentally, I mean professionally. Like I said Wednesday Lard-Ass (not Mr. Ass, Mismanagement) still has not made new paperwork. Actually she is on vacation (no like an actual vacation this time) this week. Mr. (redacted) found some old sheets of it. He desperately insists on doing it. I mean I get it, it’s something to do that passes the time, but he acts like it’s a requirement. NOTHING is as big of a deal as they make it out to be. Then again my “I don’t give a fuck” vibes might be stronger now than ever. It is really a shame he is not in charge. Shit would get done.

He does make a good point though. We have a shit load of guards today. A full house as (redacted) calls it. So many people in fact that R. and D. J are talking with Thelmite in the corner and Hawkeye is hiding in the Docent’s Kitchen. (Redacted), while in mock Supervisor mode, even asked “how many people do we have on the Court?” to which I should have replied “I don’t fucking care and neither should you!”, but I like Mr. (redacted). He’s cool and I do not have the heart to be an asshole to him, even though I am being one now by writing about this… Hmm. 

I should have mentioned this Wednesday but Wayne quit Saturday night. They tried to secretly transfer him over to Part-Time from Special Events without him knowing. They did that to McLemore except it was the other way around. This was not as ugly because benefits were not involved but it’s still just as disheartening. It was a peaceful departure considering the circumstances. If they ever tried that shit with me I’d call a lawyer A.S.A.P. That could explain why Mismanagement does not like me. I mean apart from the fact that I'm white. She knows, at this point, that if she tries anything I got her ass. Another reason you have to give him serious kudos for keeping a cool head about it. Wayne is a great guy and he has probably more tact in his pinky than I have in my whole damn body. I would have cursed Predator out.

I think I have discovered that her psychological rift with Predator's “asshole factor.” He and (redacted) both had to work Thanksgiving day. When I said “Happy Thanksgiving” to him I almost heard a grumble of disapproval. That really sucks… I thought about making them both a plate of leftovers. Then I remembered it was Predator so… yeah. Fuck him, he can eat his own food, this is not Christmas! I would feel sorry for (redacted) but I think he’s cool with working any time.

Hawkeye just got busted by Mr. Ass. Oh fuck now (redacted's) “on the case” I swear he must be a secret Supervisor or something. Or maybe it’s just in his nature as a kiss ass. By the way (first redacted) was doing the paperwork that was in the book. The blank reference sheets. *sigh* So just now Mr. Ass announced that there is an event until 11:15PM on December 5^th, the night before everyone is “required” to be here until 12:15 AM the following day. I am working 4:30 to 9:30 that night, that was the option he gave me. I took it since it’s an extra five hours. For Full Timer’s sake I feel bad for them. 

Another illegal thing that is a constant, within the Security department, is the violation of time between work days. Legally a worker must have eight hours off between work days. They force Full Time officers to work events until midnight on a Friday or Saturday then expect them to be in the very next day at 9:15AM! Not to mention they do not get any proper sleep. It is only the most die hard officers that agree to this. I would not put up with that shit, and I have not in the past. I have gotten stricter with Mr. Ass, he’s not my friend, and that’s the attitude you have to give here. 

Looking back there was a lot of overthinking going on. It made the day go by fast though! 

November 26th 2014

I really miss having Ozy. Luckily there are other ways to get through an insane day than to pop pills. After All if I got too dependant on that I would turn into Mismanagement. 

November 26, 2014: I am here on a Wednesday for the first time in I cannot remember how long. Tomorrow is Thanksgiving so I have to make up my hours by working today and Friday. What the hell, it beats working a long Thursday. Knucklehead wished us a happy Thanksgiving. In my mind I was thinking “yeah choke on something.” Apart from that statement I realize why people stay here. It is probably the only place where people can get away with shit while also feeling superior over everyone else. I wonder if this is like a complex among the security profession. I should lead a psychological evaluation on this place. Racism, megalomania, social disorder, superiority complexes, fear of retaliation. And that’s only a couple of people! I should have studied psychology.

I have gone off topic, I mean I suppose the topic is to observe and complain about the reality of the Art Museum, but I took an oxy earlier and now believe I am in a stronger sense of mind now that it’s been a couple hours. Myself and another guard were talking about something Knucklehead stated in the meeting this morning. On December 6^th there is some event, and everyone is “required” to work it. I think the majority of the issues here is that he throws his fucking weight around and does not approach us in a proper manner. I can’t blame him though, if he did approach me and say “would you like to work the event Saturday night?” I MYSELF would probably say “yes” but I know a lot of others here would say “no”. So I understand the need to make it seem like a requirement, however it is not legal to offer your employees PTO leave, and special event officers a “flexible schedule” then tell them they WILL HAVE TO work that event. The left foot does not know what the right foot is doing, but Knucklehead's going to stuff his in his mouth some day. 

Survival Tools

I should have covered this earlier, in fact it should have been one of my first entries. If you are a Security Guard this post might save your life! Or… you know make the day so much better. Most importantly, you need ways to literally stay on your feet AND fight the pain that comes with that job requirement.

Depending on where you work there is either a restriction or a lax on electronic devices. If you are guarding the President I can understand the problem with one of your people playing Candy Crush on the job. It’s moments like that when some lunatic could fly a drone onto the front lawn… uhh, well a guy could hop the fence and make it all the way to the front… umm or you know someone could break away from a tour group and end up in the private elevator…

Ok so maybe the Secret Service really shouldn’t play Underworld Empire on post, but in an art museum such devices are a vital requirement! Knucklehead thinks we ARE the Secret Service, but we do not protect OR serve anyone. In fact we do not carry weapons and if we were to defend ourselves we would likely get written up rather than commentated.

Just having an electronic device isn’t enough. You need to know WHEN to use it. There are a lot of boring days here at the Art Museum where no guests are even in the building. On rare days like that no one cares what you do as long as you’re off camera. Also your Supervisor might patrol around trying to catch what you’re doing. Once they do you’re in the clear, but keep on watch.

Then there’s the issue of actually sitting down. Once again; make sure you’re in the clear before doing this and for no more than 30-60 seconds. That’s just long enough to make the muscles in your feet and legs happy. Also, while on camera, you can rest one leg at a time on a bench. As long as it looks like you’re standing the people on the other end of the camera won’t care.

As far as taking care of the aches and pains you could buy a foot massager, but keep in mind that you can’t massage your back with it. An electric massager (the one with the sticky pads) is a good investment. So are Dr. Schols massaging gel inserts, but an electric paddle massager’s better. Just don’t set it to anything above four before turning it on. Learned that the hard way…

If you are more concerned with passing the time make sure you have your chargers for your respective devices. Also turning down the volume and brightness helps conserve battery life. If you are a big music fan then a good set of Bluetooth ear buds are a must. You can have one bud in your free ear while still wearing your radio ear bud in the other. Nobody spots the difference. Same principle goes for mini FM radios incase you are more of a sports fanatic and don’t want to miss the game while draining your life away in a gallery. Who cares what you listen too? You can still guard art, and it makes the day go faster.