Tuesday, October 6, 2015

How To Deal With Guests Talking AT You

Working Security at an art museum can often make you feel like “the help”. Not just because of the staff, who still believe there is a middle class left in this country, but because of clueless guests. I have talked about dealing with the public before, and they are not ALL bad, but there is a variety that irk me.

Some of these hardcore artsy fartsy dicks have a tendency to talk AT you. Almost with a demanding tone, a verbal snap of the fingers. “You’re not human, serve me” it feels like they say when they just speak toward you as if you are suppose to immediately be aware (or give a shit) that they need assistance.

Rest assured because there is a definite way to handle the situation. I mean besides walking away or not hearing them entirely thanks to your blutooth headset (link to Survival Tools). No this method puts their ass right in place and does not even require a single “fuck”. All you have to do is say “Hello! Good (whatever time of day)! How can I help you!?”

Do not shout that, but speak loudly and with emphasis, and put your hand up as if motioning them to stop. Which you are; as in “shut the fuck up”. I guarantee it will shock them and might even make them forget what they were gonna say. Even better they might get so peved they will just walk away in a huff.


Not only will it wake them up but it might remind them to use their supposed class for their fellow humans instead of just for inanimate objects. Christ even the most ignorant guests say “hello” or “excuse me” first. Though they do have that “I hate your white skin” vibe when they do…

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